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Sylvia Runs Away 



BY 

ROBERT HOUSUM 




SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New Yorfc 



Sylvia Runs Away 

A FARCE IN THREE ACTS 



BY 
ROBERT HOUSUM 



Copyright, 1911, by Robert Housum 
(Under the title of "Who Is Sylvia?") 
Copyright, 1920, by Samuel French 



411 Rights Reserved 



CAUTION: All persons are hereby warned that "SYL- 
VIA RUNS AWAY," being fully protected under 
the copyright laws of the United States, is subject 
to royalty, and any one presenting the play without 
the consent of the owners or their authorized agents 
will be liable for the penalties by law provided. Ap- 
plication for the amateur acting rights must be made to 
Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th St., New York City. 
Application for the professional acting rights must 
be made to The American Play Company, 33 West 
42nd St., New York City. 



New York: 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 West 38th Street 



London : 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd, 

26 Southampton Street 

Strand 



6 



Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this 
book without a valid contract for production first hav- 
ing been obtained from the publisher confers no right 
or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the 
play publicly or in private for gain or charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading 
public only and no performance of it may be given 
except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 
28-30 West Thirty-eighth Street, New York City. 

Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit 
shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or 
who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such in- 
fringement, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, 
and upon conviction shall be punished by imprison- 
ment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine or not 
less than one hundred nor more than one thousand 
dollars, or both, in the discretion of the court 

Act of March 4, 1909. 



©C1.0 bOOtil 



NOV 20 1920 



<Vv€» I 



When "Sylvia Runs Away" was produced by 
William A. Bra'dy; Ltd., at The Playhouse, New 
York City, August i8, 191 4, it was with the fol- 
lowing cast : 

Scott Hamilton Albert Brown 

Douglas Lea Edward Lang ford 

Samuel Graham Ned A. Sparks 

Sally Driscoll Alice Brady 

Sylvia Deane Geraldine O'Brien 

r5ANTEL Hyde Albert Moore 

Ridgeley Norris Charles Lothian 

PoPH AM Charles Homer 

The Burglar Elmer Booth 

Sergeant Muller Tom McMahon 

Rodney Sidney Macey 



CAST 

Scott Hamilton 
Douglas Lea 
Samlxl Gr.\ham 
Sally Driscoll 
Syl\ta Deaxe 
Daxiel H\t)e 

RiDGELEY XORRIS 

PoPHAM. butler at the Hamilton home 
The Bl-rglar 

Sergeant Mlt-ler. a police officer 
Rodney, a policeman 



SYNOPSIS OF SCEXES 

Act I The living-room of the Hamilton home. 

East 36th Street. 3 130 P. M. 
Act II The second floor of the Hamilton home. 

3 A.M. 

Act III 1 he li\-in?-room again. Immediately 
after. 

Time : May. 

Place : New York City. 



Sylvia Runs Away 



ACT I 

Scene: The scene represents the Ik'ing-room of 
the Hamilton home on East 2,6th Street, Nezv 
York City, about half-past three on a May 
afternoon. The room is handsomely furnished 
and suggests a fainily of wealth, refinement and 
taste. 

There are doors, ivell dozvn stage and 
opposite each other, in both the r. and l. zvalls, 
both opening outward from the living-room. 
There is a larger doorway in the rear wall, L. c, 
with a sliding door. All three doorzvays are 
hvng, inside, with portieres of a dark, rich hue. 
The L. rear corner of the room is cut off b\ a 
shallow alcove, zvifh a bay zinndon* looking 
out upon the street and a commodious windozu- 
seaf. This alcove may be divided from the 
living-room by portieres. A staircase goes up 
about four steps to a platform against the rear 
zi'all, R. c. zi'here it turns at right angles and 
follows the rear zi'all uPzvards to a door at the 
fob '" *hr R. Zi'all. zi'hich is huna zvith portieres. 
Half-zi'ay betzveen the R. and l. zvalls and 
zvell dozvn fozcard the footliqhts a large, hand- 
some rlpctric dome-light depends from the cnl- 
ivn This, together zvith several zvall-brackets 
about the room, is controlled bv an electric 
szvitch in the wall near door l. In the -R.rear 
5 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

corner, against the rear wall and under the 
stairs, is an upright piano, zvith pianola attach- 
ment and stool in front of it. The top of the 
piano is draped with an oriental cover, upon 
zvhich stands the figure of a grinning CJiinese 
cat. Between the piano stool and tJie R. wall 
is a small footstool, upon which are piled a 
number of record rolls. Against the r. zvall, 
half-zvay between this footstool and the door 
R., stands a small table used in serving tea. 

About R. c. stands a large, substantial table, 
covered with a handsome cloth of oriental 
stuff which reaches almost to the floor. Upon 
this table stand : a reading-lamp zvith a green 
shade, which may be lighted by means of a 
small dependent chain; a massive desk-set, zvith 
an unusually large glass ink-zvell ; a telephone; 
and a call -bell. 

Against the l. zvall, betzveen the alcove and 
the door l., stands a much smaller table, also 
covered zvith an oriental cloth, upon zvhich 
stands a student-lamp zinth tzvin paper shades. 
On the little shelf underneath the table is an 
oriental tom-tom. 

There are chairs on each side of the door- 
zvay L. c, placed against the rear zvall; three 
chairs placed about the large table r. c. one to 
the L., one to the R., and one d'rectly behind it; 
and one set out from the l. zvall, a little above 
the small table l. 

(Note: Throughout, 'Wight" and ''left" are 
the actors' right and left, not the spectators' ) 

At the rise of the curtain, all three doors are 
open, and none of the portieres are drazmi. 
The afternoon sun streams in through the bay 
zvindozv up l. Popham. an elderly butler, is 
asleep in chair to L. of table R. c. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 7 

Scott. (Off i.. c.) Popham! Popham ! ("Pop- 
ham does not stir. Scott enters l. c. zvearing his 
hat, light overcoat and gloves) Popham ! Where 
the deuce are you? (Comes doitm l. of Popham, 
sees him asleep, looks at him a moment zmth a 
smile, then calls loudly in his ear) Popham ! 

Popham. (Aivakening and 'leaping to his feet 
in confusion) Oh, Master Scott! I beg pardon, 
I — the fact is, sir — well, I wasn't expecting you. 

Scott. That's very evident. (Gives Popham 
his hat, overcoat and gloves) 

Popham. But you're so seldom home, sir. We 
haven't set eyes on you since Tuesday. 

Scott. I've been staying at the club. It's so 
beastly lonesome here with Father and ^Fother 
and Sis all away. 

Popham. T^^at it is. sir. W\\h. never a thing to 
occupy me, i^'s I'tt^e wonder I drop ofif to sleep now 
and then. ^Popham goes out l. c. zmtli Jiat and 
coat) 

Scott. ^^'eV, T'^ 1----) vou busy for to-night. 
I've asked Doug and Sim ^'^re for dhiner. We'll 
have FJiza make some of those delicious pates of 
hers. fPoPHAiNT re-evt'^rs l. c. ) Do you realize, 
Popham, that your wife is the best cook in New 
York? 

Popham. She often tells me so, sir. But she's 
out to-day. 

Scott. Won't she be back in time to get dinner? 

Popham. Not unt'l to-morrow, sir. She's gone 
to Brooklyn to see a female relative who fell and 
broke a limb^ 

Scott. Oh, the deuce! Then we'll have to go 
to the club for dinner 

Popham. I can manage, sir. 

Scott You can't cook dinner and serve it at 
the same time. 



8 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

PoPHAM. True, sir. But Nora can wait on 
table. 

Scott. Nora? Who's Nora? 

PoPHAM. The new maid. She came yesterday, 
sir. She's an old friend of Eliza's 

Scott. Good ! Then we'll dine here after all. 

PoPHAM. About seven, sir? f Scott nods) 
Then you'll have tea? f Scott nods) Nora's an 
excellent girl, sir — Eliza knew her out west, before 
we were married. 

-Scott. (Impatiently) An old friend ! Yes, yes, 
Popham — I've no doubt she's a jewel. (Starts r. 
for stairs, then turns) Oh — you can have up some 
of the 1832 sherry. To-night, Popham, we cele- 
brate. 

Popham. W'hy, Master Scott, what has hap- 
pened ? 

Scott. (Hilariously ) What's happened? W'hy, 
at last I'm a real business man. I've made a barrel 
of money. We've hit Wall Street for about fifteen 
thousand dollars, and we're likely to double that 
before we sell out. Here, Popham — (Takes a bill 
from his pocket and hands it to Popham j — Buy 
yourself a pink necktie. 

Popham. Thank you, sir. 

Scott. Don't forget the sherry. (Bounds up- 
stairs, whistling jubilantly) 

Popham. Oh, Master Scott. 

Scott. (Stopping near top of stairs and turn- 
ing) Hello ? 

Popham. You were asking on Tuesday, sir, for 
letters. There has been nothing so far, but this 
afternoon's mail has not come yet 

Scott. Oh, I was expecting my check from 
Father. But now I've made so much money I 
don't care if he never sends me another cent. 

Popham. I do congratulate you, sir. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 9 

Scott Let me know when Mr. Lea and Mr 
Graham come, f Scott goes out door at head of 

'^^^PoPHAM. (Coming doivnc. and calling) Nora! 
Nora ! Come into the Uving-room. 

f Sylvia enters r.— a young, slender, pretty girl, in 
maid's cap and apron) 

Sylvia. Yes, sir? 

POPHAM. Nora, there will be guests for dmner. 

Sylvia. (Surprised) Guests! Why, I thought 
the family were all abroad. 

PoPHAM. Not Master Scott— the young gentle- 
man His friends, Mr. Lea and Mr. Graham, will 
dine with him to-night. Since Eliza is away, i 11 

do the cooking. . , ,, .. . ui :> 

Sylvia Then I suppose I shall wait on table r 
PopHAM. Yes. Pay special heed to Mr. Graham. 
DDn't let his grumbling and growling distress you. 
It's only his way. He means nothing by it. 
Sylvia. When— when will Eliza be back? 
PoPHAM. To-morrow, probably. 
Sylvia.. Ah, Em glad. r ttv 

PoPHAM You seem very fond of Eliza. 
Sylvia. Indeed I am. She's been so good to 
me. (Doorbell rings off l. c.) 

PoPHAM. There! I expect that's the postman. 
Tou m.ay as well get used to answering the door 
(SvLYi A starts for door l. c, crossing Popham l.; 
But never let anyone in you don't know. Inquire 
the name and business if doubtful. 

Sylvia. I understand. (She goes out l. c. and 
PoPHAM goes out r. After a brief pause Douglas 
enters l. c, lookinq gloomy and dejected. He comes 
down L. c, and Sylvia 'folloivs him in, evidently 
ill at ease about admitting him. Sam enters l. c. 



lo SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

and sits at l. of table r. c. He has an afternoon 
newspaper folded and stuck in his pocket) 

Sylvia. (Timidly) Who are you, please ? What 
is your business? 

Sam. What's my business? Well, you've got a 
nerve for a servant. You must be new here. 

Sylvia. Yes, sir. I only came yesterday. 

Sam. (To Douglas j I believe she takes me 
for a book-agent. Doug, do I act like a book- 
agent ? 

Douglas. You do not. Book-agents are in- 
variably courteous. 

Sam. Well, they have to be. / don't. 

Sylvia. I beg your pardon 

Douglas. No wonder she asked. W'e look like 
tramps. 

Sam. (Snappishly) Well, think what we've 
been through ! If I look as rotten as I feel, I must 
be a sight. 

Sylvia. (Turning to Sam J Oh, it is ^Ir. 
Graham, is it not? I should have recognized him 
from Popham's description. 

Sam. (Glaring at her) You don't tell me. 

Douglas. (With a smile) One on you, Sam. 
Yes, this is Mr. Graham, and I am Mr. Lea. Wq 
came to see Mr. Hamilton. 

Sylvia. Thank you. I'll tell him you're here. 
(As Sylvia starts r. for stairs, Popham enters r. 
and walks back of table r. c. to foot of stairs) 

Popham. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Til call 
Master Scott, Nora. f Sylvia starts for door 
R., crossing in front of Samj You may go 
to the kitchen. (Sylvia goes out r., giggling 
quietly) 

Sam. (Glaring after her) Where did you get 
your fresh maid? 

Popham. Fresh, sir? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ii 

Sam. Yes, fresh. She wanted to know my busi- 
ness. 

Douglas. Stop growh'ng, Sam. The girl's all 
right, Popham, very refined — and more than a little 
good-looking. (Gets chair from l., places it l. c, 
and sits) 

Sam. Well, do we see Scott or don't we? 

Popham. I'll call him, sir. (Goes upstairs and 
out door at head of stairs) 

Douglas. (After a pause) Well? 

Sam. Well? 

Douglas. Well, what in the world are we going 
to say to Scott? 

Sam. Tell him the deal has gone to smash. 

Douglas. I hate to do it. 

Sam. He's got to know it. Besides, it was his 
fault. 

Douglas. (Rising) Don't blame it on Scott. 
Who got us into it? 

Sam. Oh, / did. But that tip on U. S. Coal was 
a corker. Didn't it go up twenty points in three 
days? 

Douglas. Yes. And dropped thirty points in 
about three minutes. 

Sam. We held on too long. If we'd only sold 
out at 89 — like I wanted to 

Douglas. Come, Sam, be a sport and take your 
medicine. 

Sam. If we can't raise ten thousand dollars for 
margin by to-morrow morning 

Douglas. (Sits) Well, I don't see how we can. 

Sam. Then good-night. 

Scott. (Appearing briskly at head of stairs) 
Hello ! (As he runs downstairs) How are the 
predatory rich? (^Douglas and Sam look very glum 
and do not respond to his gaiety. He crosses l. to 
Douglas and shakes hands. Douglas does not rise) 



12 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Good afternoon, Mr. Rockefeller. (Crosses r. to 
Sam, zvJio does not rise, and shakes hands) And 
my old friend Baron Rothschild. Well, what are 
we going to do with it all? How about a new car 
and a yacht and a 

Douglas. Scott, old man, hold up a minute. 

Scott. What's wrong? 

Douglas. I hate to tell you, but — it's all gone. 

Scott. What's all gone? 

Douglas. Our money. 

Scott. Gone ? Where ? 

Sam. (Rises, goes to chair r. of table r. c. and 
stands) Don't be a fool. Where does all the 
money in W' all Street go ? 

Scott. But I thought we were way to the good. 

Douglas. We were. But the market turned 
after you left. 

Scott. W^ait a minute. I'm dizzy. 

Sam. If we'd only sold out at 89. 

Douglas. (Rising) After you left we went to 
the W'aldorf to watch the ticker. They made a 
drive on Coal and 

Sam. The bottom just — dropped — out. 

Douglas. I never saw such a scramble. There 
were about ten men to every telephone, trying to 
reach their brokers 

Sam. And all the time U. S. Coal was going 
down — down — down. 

Scott. Didn't it rally? 

Sam. Ever drop a bucket down a well? Just — 
like — that. (Drops into chair r. of table R. c.) 

Douglas. And before we could get our broker 
the Exchange closed. 

Scott, Then we're wiped out? 

Douglas. Might as well be. Unless we can 
come across before to-morrow morning with more 
margin — we're smashed. (Drops into chair i., c.) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 13 

Sgott. How much do we need? 

Douglas. Ten thousand dollars. 

Scott. Ten thousand dollars. (Going over to 
table R. c.) Sam, who gave you that rotten tip on 
Coal ? 

Sam. Bill Stevenson. (^ Scott starts quickly for 
' door L. c. Douglas rushes after him and stops 
him) 

Douglas. Where are you going? 

Scott. I'm going to find Bill Stevenson and 
gently but firmly murder him. 

Douglas. Don't be an ass. (Comes dozvn l. c. 
and Scott down q.) 

Sam. (Sourly) The tip was all right. But we 
ought to have sold out at 89. 

Scott. That's so. By Jove ! Then it's all my 

fault. (Shakes head dole f idly) There's no use 

. saying I'm sorry — a natural-born fool always is. 

You should have had more sense than to take a 

six-cylinder jackass in with you. 

Douglas. Sam and I wanted to hold on, too. 
You're not to blame. (Sits in chair l. c.) 

Scott. Yes, I am. I heard someone say that 
Coal was going to par — and lost my fool head. 
Lapped it up like a Bronx cocktail. (Goes and 
stands at hack of table R. c.) 

Sam. If we'd only sold out at 89! (Bell rings 

off L. C.j 

Douglas. (Rising and going over to table r. c.) 

Come! Let's figure how we can get out of this. 

I had Bill Stevenson on the phone. (Crosses back 

. io l. c.) He says it's sure to go up again and will 

' tourh 90. He's on the inside. (Sits l. c. j 

•■*'= 'Sam. He certainly is. //^ sold out at 89. 

Scott. Then we've got to raise money for mar- 
' ;^giii^^ Somehow, ■ and hang on until it goes up 



14 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sam. Did you ever try to raise ten thousand 
dollars? Over night? 

Douglas. We haven't got a chance. 

Sam. Why, I've hardly enough left to buy a 
square meal. 

Scott. I know. But we've got to do it. 

Sam. How? ^Popham enters l. c. with letters 
in his hand) 

Scott. (Shaking his head gloomily) I wish I 
knew. 

PoPHAM. (Coming down to l. of Scott J The 
mail, sir. 

Scott. Oh, put it down somewhere. 

PoPHAM. But there's a letter for you, sir. From 
abroad. 

Scott. (Snatching the mail from Popham j From 
Father ! (Drops all the letters hut one on table r. c.^ 

Perhaps it's that check ! If it only is (Tears 

envelope open eagerly) 

Sam. We may be able to eat a few days longer. 
{^PoPHAM goes out l. c. ) 

Douglas. (Rising and crossing r. to ScottJ 
How much is it ? 

Scott. (Shaking letter and looking frantically 
in envelope) There — there doesn't seem to be any 
check after all. 

Sam. That settles it. We starve to 
death. (^Douglas goes hack to chair l. c. and 
sits) 

Scott. Just listen to this : (Reads from letter) 
*T am glad to hear you are doing so well in Wall 
Street. Since you are making so much money, 
you will no longer require your allowance, and I 
have therefore discontinued it. Your affectionate 
Father." Affectionate! 

Sam. (Pointing to one of the letters still on 
table R. c.; What's that letter with the black 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 15 

border? Got any rich relations who might have 
died and left you ten thousand? 

Scott. (Picking up letters and looking at black- 
bordered one) No, it's only — oh, I say, Popham! 

Douglas. What's wrong now? 

Scott. This is getting to be a nuisance! f Pop- 
ham enters l. c.) 

Popham. What, sir? 

Scott. Why, letters keep coming here for that 
confounded Miraculo. 

Sam. What's a miraculo? 

Scott. He's a man — some sort of a fake for- 
tune-teller. 

Douglas. Oh, I've seen his ad. — "See Miraculo. 
He sees through you/' He's one of those crystal 
ball gazers. 

Popham. That's him, sir. His studio is at 118 
West 36th Street. Our number is 118 East. That's 
how it happens. You'd be surprised, sir, how many 
gets East and \A''est mixed. 

Scott. (Angrily) WeH, I'm tired of it. Give 
this back to the postman to-morrow and tell him 
to stop bringing this Miraculo's mail to me. He 
ought to have more sense. (Hands letters to Pop- 
ham j 

Sam. Yes, it's a cinch you're no fortune-teller. 
If you were, we'd have sold out at 89 

Douglas. Sam, will you shut up? 

Sam. (Rising) Oh, let's have a drink. It may 
make things look brighter. 

Douglas. (Rising) No. We haven't had lunch. 
Make it tea. (^Sam makes a zvry face and sits in 
chair to l. of table r. c.) 

Scott. Tea, Popham. 

Popham. It's all but ready, sir. I'll send Nora 
in with it at once. 

Scott. Nora? 



; i6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

' PoPHAM. The new maid, sir. 

Scott. Oh, yes, of course. ("Popham goes out 
L. c, carrying letters) How much did you say we 
needed? 

Sam. Ten thousand dollars. Mere trifle. 

Scott. No use. Might just as well try to raise 
ten million. (Goes up c.) 

Douglas. (Crossing r. to Sam J How much 
have you got, Sam ? 

Sam. (Displaying a bill) My last, lonely ''V." 

Douglas. Nothing in the bank? 

Sam. Not a cent, f Douglas goes back to chair 
L. c. and stands beside it) I paid some bills this 
month. Thought at the time it was extravagant. 
fPoPHAM enters r.^ followed by Sylvia zvitJi the 
tea-tray. He goes up R.. takes small table in up r. 
corner and places it back of large table r. c, to l. 
of chair. Sylvia comes to l. of Popham and places 
tea-tray on small table) 

Scott. How about you, Doug? 

Douglas. Between three and four hundred dol- 
lars. And you? 

Scott. (Pulling coins out of trousers' pocket) 
Exactly eleven cents. But I owe a lot more than 
that. Pve borrowed all I could already. 

• Douglas. Not a ray of hope. (Sits in chair l. c. 
In the meantime Popiiam and Sylvl\ have poured 
out tea. Sylvia passes a cup to Sam and picks up 
ybmvl of granulated sugar to pass to him) 

Popham. Never br-'ng granulated sugar for tea, 
(Nora. Serve the loaf sugar. 

: o;,g,YLViA. (Passing sugar bowl to Sam, tvho takes 

two heaping teaspoonfuls ) Yes, I know. But I 

couldn't find it. (Goes back to tea-table. In the 

y^af^time PopnAM serves Scott, zvho takes no 

sugar) 

Sam. Come back here with 'that. sugar!;- 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 17 

Sylvia. I beg your pardon. (Returns, passes 
Sam sugar. He fakes another big spoonful) 

Sam. Remember hereafter that I am very fond 
of sugar. 

Sylvia. Yes, sir. (Goes to tea-table, gets cup 
of tea, ivhich she carries to Douglas, who rises from 
chair I., c. to receive it from her. She offers him 
sugar bowl, but he shakes his head negatively. Sam 
tastes his tea and leaps suddenly to his feet) 

Sam. Are you trying to poison me? What in 
thunder is this stuff? 

Sylvia. (Crossing r. to Samj Is anything the 
matter with your tea? 

Sam. Tea! This isn't tea. It tastes Hke the 
Great Salt Lake. (Places cup and saucer on table 

R. C.) 

Sylvia. (Taking pinch of sugar from bowl 
and tasting it) Oh, I'm so sorry. I've brought 
sah ! 

Popham. (Horrified, coming dozvn l. c. to her) 
Nora! fScoTT and Douglas roar zvith laughter. 
Scott sits in chair behind table R. c.) 

Sam. That's right. Laugh! 

Sylvia. Oh, I'm so sorry. I — I didn't do it on 
purpose- 



DouGLAS. Why, of course you didn't. 

Popham. Nora! Go at once and look for the 
loaf sugar. 

Sylvia. (Frightened) Y-y-yes, sir. (She goes 
out R.) 

Popham. Oh, gentlemen ! 

Sam. You'll never be able to do anything with 
that girl, Popham. I'd bounce her, right oft* the 
reel. 

Douglas. I'd do no such thing! ("Popham 
goes out r., shaking his head sadly) No wonder 
she's nervous, Sam, the way you bellow at her. 



i8 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

YouVe scared the poor girl half to death. She's 
a little bundle of nerves. 

Sam. What about luy nerves? 

Douglas. And she's mighty pretty. (Places cup 
and saucer on small table L.J 

Sam. Well, no accounting for taste. Scott, 
Doug's fallen in love with your new maid. (Sits in 
chair L. of table r. c, Jakes newspaper from his 
pocket and begins to read) 

Scott. In love! (To DouglasJ Haven't you 
got trouble enough without that? 

Douglas. (Angrily) Oh, don't be ridiculous! 
Come now ! What are we going to do ? 

Scott. (Setting cup and saucer on table r. c. 
and coming down l. c. ) Let's put all we've got to- 
gether and play the races. (^Popham enters R., with 
bozvl of loaf-sugar and additional cup and saucer in 
his hands. He goes up R., then l. to rear of tea- 
table, zi'here he sets dozvn sugar bowl and pours out 
a fresh cup of tea) 

Sam. (Drily) I guess I'll hang on to my five. 
(Returns to reading his nezvspaper) 

Douglas. You've got to think of something 
better than that, Scott. 

Scott. I wish I could. I got you into this mess. 
It's up to me to pull you out. (^Popham offers Sam 
fresh cup of tea and sugar bowl) 

Sam. (Waving them azvay) No, thanks. Don't 
disturb me. I'm busy. fPoPHAM begins to collect 
cups and saucers) 

Scott. What have you got there, Sam? 

Sam. "The Sun." Market reports. ''U. S. Coal 
hits toboggan — — " 

Scott. (Taking paper out of Sam's hands) 
Let's see what it says. 

Douglas. Sam, isn't there any way to raise the 
money ? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 19 

Scott. (Laughing ) We might try the "Help 
Wanted" coKimn. 

Sam. Can't you keep your mouth shut? 

Scott. (Reading) "Wanted: bright young man 
to learn the barber trade. Manners must be 
pleasant and affable." That's a great chance for 
you, Sam. f Popham, having collected the cups and 
saucers, carries the tea-tray out r.) 

Douglas. Scott, Sam and I are trying to figure 
out 

Scott. (Turning over to front page of paper, 
whistles) Say ! Here is a chance ! 

Sam. Oh, what is it nozv? 

Scott. (Taking paper over to Douglas and 
pointing out item to him) Look at that. 

Douglas. By Jove ! That is funny. 

SA^f . Go on. Hand me a laugh : I need it. 

Douglas. (Reading) "Ten thousand dollars 
reward." 

Sam. (Sitting up) What for? 

Scott. (Taking paper front Douglas and read- 
ing) "Offered by Daniel Hyde of Harrisburg, 
Pennsylvania, for information leading to the dis- 
covery of his missing niece, Sylvia Deane." You 
know, if by some chance we could find this Sylvia 
Deane 

Sam. Oh, don't be a fool. Give me my paper. 

Scott. No, wait a minute. (Reads) "On the 
death of Miss Deane's father two years ago, her 
uncle, Daniel Hyde, was appointed her legal 
guardian ; and since that time she has niade her 
home in Harrisburg with him and his wife. She 
is reputed to be worth over a million — in her own 
right." (Whistles) 

Douglas. Yes — her mother was Hyde's sister 
— and all the Hydes inherited money. 

Scott. (Surprised) Why, do you know them? 



S VL\X\ RUNS AWAY 
- 5. Xo, but I've heard Dad speak of 

'\ c^dimg) "It is the belief of the police 

.ne is now in Xcw York." Hear that? 

if she's in Xew York die police hare 

-le. Let's get back to the market. 

'^ ^r Scott) Give roe my paper. 

market! HaTcn't yon had 

e . - : the girl's pictnre. fShoa:s it 

L- ~ '' z^er and looking of ii > 

Wlr .car of ink ! It m^^ be 

I **:^k it's a Teiy good picture. Fd 
r -- anywhere, 

^ . ■ -. i - on oat and reco^T" :^ ''^"- I am't 

stoppmg' yoo- 

DorcLAS. WTiy. Scott, what cou ' ^'i*£!k 

the streets peering roond for a gir like 

that snmd^? (Points to picture in faf-er/ 

Sam. ( SarcasticaUx ) Yon m^iht stroll np snd 
down Broadway sii^ino^: "^I want an heiress, a 
bonny, bonny heiress. She's as " -^ 'Tt throt- 
tles him) L^go? 

Scott. Give roe that paper t ^ zz::nes f^iper 
from DoccLAS and reads i "The date of Miss 
Deane's marriage to ^Ir. Rii^'dcy Xorris. promi- 
nent society man of Harrisbnr^, had been set for 
to-morrow. Both ^Ir. Hyde and Mr. Xorris deny 
enqihatically that any misimderstandii^ betwe*Ti 
Miss Deane and her fiance preceded her disap- 
pearance." 

Sam. (Taking faper from Scott) Wefl, how 
are yon going to find her? 

SocnT. I don't know. Jnst the same. I've ha'f 
a mind to nnderfake the job. I don't see any other 
way of raisii^ that ten thonsand. 



SYLA^IA RUNS AWAY 2t 

DoT'GLAS. (Laughing and pointing at Scottj 
Sherlock Holmes come back ! 

Sam. President of the Bone-Head Detective 
Agency. 

Douglas. All in favor 

Sam and Douglas. Aye ! 

Sam. Elected. It gives me great pleasure, Mr. 
Holmes, to notify you of your election as Presi- 
dent of the Bone-Head Detective Agency. (Sits in 
chair l. of table k. c. Douglas sits in chair l. c.J 

Scott. I accept. (With a burlesque of Sherlock 
Holmes, addressing Sam ) And now, my dear Wat- 
son, what is your own crud^ idea of our little 
problem? Whcit are the facts? Facts are occa- 
sionally useful, Watson, even to the deductive mind. 

Douglas. (Rising) Scott, we're in no mood 
for skylarking. Do you realize what an awful hole 
we're in ? 

Scott. Of course I do. But if we could only 
get that reward 

SA^r. (Laying neivspaper on table R. c.j Cut 
out the tomfoolery, and let's get down to cases. 

Scott. (A little angry) Pve suggested every- 
thing / can think of. Xow see what you can do. 
(Turns and 'icalks up l., throzvs himself on ivin~ 
doic-seat, and gazes out zvindozv) 

Douglas. (Crossing r. to Sam J Do you think 
anyone would lend it to us ? 

Sam. No. If they didn't know us, they'd want 
securit}'. And if they did know us 

DoL^GLAS. They'd want it worse than ever. 

Sam. Scott! Do you know any easy mark we 
could borrow from? 

Scott. (Looking out of icindow) Keep still 
a minute ! 

SA^r. (To Douglas; \\'hat's the matter with 
him ? 



22 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 



Scott. There's the craziest-acting girl outside 



here 

Sam. That's nothing unusual. New York's full 
of 'em. 

Douglas. What's she doing? 

Scott. Parading up and down outside the house. 
By Jove, I believe she's coming i.i I (Rises 
in excitement) No ! — There she goes. — Now 
she's turned round again, and is coming 
back 

Douglas. Perhaps it's some silly kid come to 
consult your friend Miraculo. 

Scott. T shouldn't wonder. How do people fall 
for such tommyrot ? — I believe you're right ! She's 
looking at the number and comparing it with a 
card 

Douglas. Then why doesn't she come in? 

Scott. Lost her nerve, I suppose. She seems to 
be frightened. (With sudden excitement) Boys! 
Come here a minute ! Both of you ! 

Sam. What is it now? 

Scott. I want you to see this girl. 

Douglas. Wh}^ ? 

Scott. Because she's a dead ringer for that pic- 
ture of Sylvia Deane. (Sam and Douglas roar 
with laughter) She's looking up here ! 

Douglas. I should think she would. If vou 
don't stop gaping out the window, you'll collect a 
crowd. 

Sam. (Encouragingly) Run out and catch her. 
Only I can't afford to bail you out if she calls a 
cop. 

Scott. Sam ! Bring me that picture. 

Sam. (Rising and picking up newspaper from 
table R. c.; Oh, all right. (To Douglas) Might 
as well humor him. (Joins Scott at zvindoiv and 
looks out. Both glance at picture in nezvspaper) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 23 

Come here, Doug. You know, there is a sort of 
resemblance. 

Douglas. Are you catching it, too? (Rises and 
joins them at the windozv) 

Sam. (Showing Douglas the picture, and read- 
ing description, while Scott points out window) 
"Dark hair — dark eyes — slender — simply dressed" — 

Douglas. (Impressed in spite of himself ) The 
general effect is a good deal like the picture. 

Scott. Of course it is ! 

Douglas. But you can't really tell much from 
such a blot. 

Scott. I'll bet you anything it's Sylvia Deane!- 

Sam. (To Douglas) Do you think it could be? 
(Puts paper 'n his pocket) 

Douglas. No! Not one chance in a million. 
Still — (IVith a laugh) — it would be just like Scott's 
bull-headed luck if it were! 

Sam. Then let's find out! 

Douglas. How? You can't rush out on the 
street and grab a gi:"! — on the mere suspicion that 
she may happen to be a lost heiress. 

Sam. No, she'd probably have you pinched. 
How can we find out whether or not she's Sylvia 
Deane ? 

Douglas. You cant. 

Scott. (Turning suddenly from zvindow) 
Maybe you can't. I can. And /'/;/ going to. 

Douglas and Sam. How? 

Scott. (PuUing up his sleeves in the manner of 
a parlor magician) Watch m- closely, ladies and 
gentlemen, and you will s^e how the trick is done. 
(Goes to table r. c. and rings bell upon it) 

Sam. (Looking out zvindow) She's coming in 
'—No ! She's shopped ! 

Scott. But she zuill come in when she gets her 
nerve up. ("Popham enters r.) Popham, there's 



24 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

a young lady outside. I think she's mixed up tl'ie 
numbers, and has come to see that Miraculo man. 
If she should ring the bell 

PopHAM. (Starting for door L. c.) I won't let 
her in, sir. I'll send her away. 

Scott. (Going up and stopping him) You'll do 
nothing of the sort. You'll let her in. 

PopHAM. (Surprised) What! 

Scott. Let her in — say "yes" to everything she 
asks 

PoPHAM. But Master Scott 



Scott. If she has come to see Miraculo — and I 
believe she has — keep her in the hall until I strike 
that bell. (Points to bell on table r. c.) Then 
bring her in here. 

PoPHA]M. But, Master Scott — this is not fit- 
ting 

Sam. Get a move on, Popham. 

PoPHAM. (With dignity) I am hastening, sir. 
(He goes out l. c. with his usual stately tread) 

Sam. (From window) This time she really is 
coming in. 

Douglas. (Looking over his shoulder) No — 
she's lost her nerve again. Thought so. (Walks 
azvay from windozv to r. of table r. c.) Come on. 
We've had enough of this foolishness. The girl 
isn't coming in — (Bell rings off l. c. Scott rushes 
to door* L. c. and pulls eur tains shut in front 
of it) 

Scott. (At door l. c, turning and speaking in 
a whisper) Now we'll soon know whether or not 
she's Sylvia Deane. 

Douglas. But how in the world do you expect 
to find 

Scott. (Listening at curtains, and making a mo- 
Hon for silence) Sh ! Be still a minute. (All 
three stand listening eagerly) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 25 

Sally. (Ojf l. c.) Is — is this where Miraculo 
hves ? 

PoPHAM. (Off L. c.j Ah— ah— yes, Miss. 

Sally. (Off l. c.) Is he here now? 

PoPHAM. (Ojf L. c.; Yes, Miss. 

Sally. (Off l. c.) And will he see me? 

PopHAM. (Off L. c.j Yes, Miss. Presently, 
Miss. Just step this way — (^Popham's voice trails 
off as he takes Sally away) 

Douglas. Even if she is Sylvia Deane, she won't 
admit it ■ 

Scott. Of course she won't admit it. But do 
you suppose she can talk five minutes to a fortune 
teller without giving her snap away? 

Sam. (Excitedly) Scott's right. I wonder if 
we could hire this Miraculo man to come here 
and 

Scott. (Sloivly) I don't think either of you 
has ever met Miraculo. Allow me to introduce 
him to you. (Strikes an attitude) How do you 
do? How do you do? How do you do? (Bows 
to each of them in turn) 

Douglas. You'd never dare ! 

Scott. The young lady came here to find Mira- 
culo. It would be a shame to disappoint her. 

Sam. (JVith aduiiration) Mar-velous, Holmes, 
mar-vel-ous. 

Scott. Elementary, my dear Watson, ele- 
menta-y. It won't take me long to get at her 
secret. 

Douglas. But you can't tell her fortune in a room 
like this : she'd be on in a minute. It ought to 
look — well, sort of oriental. 

Scott. Well, it zvill before I'm through with it. 
(Goes R. to piano, points to a hideously grinning 
Chinese cat on top of it) Look at Clarence, here. 
He's oriental. 



26 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sam. (Picking up tom-tom from binder table l. 
and beating it wildly) So is this. 

Scott. (Combing down to l. q.) Put down that 
tom-tom, Sam. We've just about one minute to 
rig up a good fortune-teller's den. Get me those 
portieres — quick ! (Points to door L. Sam runs, 
unhooks portieres and brings them to ScottJ Get 
me those, Doug. (Points to door r. Douglas 
runs, unhooks portieres and brings them to Scott. 
Scott takes portieres from both of them. He 
points to the floor directly under the dome-light) 
Now put some chairs about — one in each corner — 
and I'll rig up a pavilion, f Sam goes up to door 
L. c, takes the two chairs on each side of the door 
and brings than downstage. Meanwhile Douglas 
gets the two chairs to r. and l. of table r. c. and 
places them in front of the two chairs Sam has 
brought, so that the four form a small square 
directly under dome-light. Standing on the chairs 
Sam and Douglas take the portieres Scott hands 
them and hook them onto dome-light, while Scott 
drapes them over the chairs in such a way that 
they form a small tent, with an opening left in front. 
Sam remains in rear, Douglas in front. Much of 
the effect of this scene zvill depend upon the speed 
with zuhich these preparations are made) 

Sam. I see. We're tenting to-night on the old 
camp ground. 

Scott. Get the tea-table, Sam. ("Sam gets it 
and places it in tent) And another chair! (^Sam 
gets chair back of table r. c. and places it in tent 
behind table. Douglas is now r. of tent, Scott 
in front of it, and Sam l. of it) How's that ? 

Sam. If w'e only had a crystal. 

Scott. (Snapping his fingers) Crystal! Crystal 
ball gazer! Get that ink-well, Doug. ("Douglas 
brings ink-well from table r. c. and Scott places 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 27 

it on tea-table inside tent) I'll read things in the 
ink. You can't beat that for oriental. 

Douglas. It looks great! (Picks up bell from 
table R. c.) Shall I ring the bell? 

Scott. Not on your life! (Takes bell from 
Douglas and places it on tea-table in tent) There's 
lots to be done yet. Sam, pull those curtains shut. 
("Sam closes curtains in front of zvindow up l. The 
room is now almost dark) 

Douglas. I'm afraid Sylvia will be getting 



mi- 



patient. 

Sam. Isn't there some little thing / can 
do? 

Scott. Yes. I'll give her somethmg to thmk 
about, and work up some atmosphere at the same 
time. Sam, go find some creepy music and play it 
on the pianola. ("Sam goes upstage and crosses 
R. to piano. Douglas goes r. and upstage and 
joins him) 

Sam. (Hunting among pianola records) How's 
Chopin's Funeral March ? 

Scott. The very thing! Shoot! ("Sam starts 
playing Chopin's Funeral March on pianola, Doug- 
las removes oriental cover from top of piano, and 
walks L., back of tent, with it) Now, Doug — the 
light. ("Douglas comes doum l. to switch and 
szvitches on light of electric dome. The tent is novj 
brightly illuminated. Scott goes r. and lights 
lamp with green shade on table R. c.j 

Douglas. (Coming c. tozvards Scott and hold- 
ing np piano cover) Is this any good? 

Scott. (Coming l. and taking it from him) 
Just what I wanted. (Drapes cover about his 
shoulders. Goes to small table l., picks up table 
cover, and hands it to Douglas, zvho has follozved 
him L.j There's a shirt for you. It's rather 
scanty, but you can sit down. 



28 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Douglas. (Draping it around his shoulders) 
What am I ? 

Scott. You're my menial. 

Douglas. I wish I had a hat. f Scott turns to 
small table l. on zMch stands lamp with tzvin 
shades. Scott takes off both of them, puts one 
on Douglas' head and one on his ozvn) 

Scott. There's one Httle hat for you — and one 
little hat for me. That's enough, Sam. (Crosses 
Douglas r. and goes to c.) Cut it out and come 
here. (^Sam stops music, picks up Chinese cat from 
piano, crosses l., then comes down betzveen Scott 
and Douglas j 

Sam. You forgot Clarence. (Places cat on 
floor, in front of tea-table) Don't I get any little 
hat? 

Scott. No. You don't get any little hat. You're 
having vour fortune told when she comes in. And 
for heaven's sake, be serious. 

Sam. I'll make her think you're the greatest 
fortune-teller in the world. Where do I sit? 

Scott. (Going into tent and sitting in chair back 
of tea-table) Right there. (Points to chair l. of 
tent. Sam di-ags it into a position in front of and 
a little to L. of tent) Doug, you can get that tom- 
tom now. We'll add some more atmosphere. 
(^Sam sits in chair l. of tent. Douglas gets tom- 
tom from underneath table l., squats down on 
floor at extreme l., and continues beating tom-tom 
softh' and monotonously during follozanng scene, 
ttntil lights are turned up) Sh ! Are we all ready? 
(^Sam and Douglas nod. After a pause Scott 
strikes the bell on tea-table. The curtains at door- 
zvay L. c. are opened from outside and Popham may 
be seen shozving Sally in) 

Popham. This way, Miss. (As he sees the 
room) Oh! Good Lord! (He closes curtains. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 29 

leaving Sally in room. She comes dozvn l. c. to 
a point between Sam and Douglas. She seems 
frightened and looks round in zi/onder) 

Scott. (In sepulchral tones, as if telling Sam's 
fortune. Throughout this scene he uses a foreign 
accent) The spirits of the dead are all about you. 
("Sally, terrified, runs up to doorzcay l. c. but 
PoPHAM, outside and unseen, slides the door to 
in her face. She then crosses R. back of tent and 
comes dozvn R., so that she stands in the light of 
the green-shaded lamp on table r. c. and R. of table 
R. c. She listens zvith interest to Scott j 
Sam. What do they tell you? 
Scott. You have recently suffered a great 
financial loss. 

Sam. Mar-velous. 

Scott. But do not despair. Great riches are in 
store for you. 

Sam. Glorious tidings. 

Scott. You do not trust the man who leads you. 
Sam. I do not. 

Scott. Follow him blindly. He is a man of 
singular genius. You shall be rich to-morrow. 

Sam. I never believed in fortune-tellers before, 
Miraculo, but you're a wonder. I'll never take an- 
other important step without consulting you. 

Scott. I am happy that you are so well pleased, 
Mr. Dingwhistle. 

Sam. (Rising) Dingwhistle! 
Scott. Ah, I see you are surprised that I know 
your name. Do you imagine the spirits would 
reveal to me all your past life, and leave me in 
ignorance of your name? Pass out quietly, Mr. 
Dingwhistle, others wait. ("Sam starts up L. C.) 
One moment. You have forgotten something. 
Sam (Turning) Havel? What? 
Scott. Five dollars, please. 



30 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sam. (Indignant) What! 

Scott. Yes, I consent to receive this trifling gift 
for my services. (With intense disgust Sam hands 
over to Scott his last five-dollar bill and goes out 
L. c.^ sliding door open and drazving curtains shut 
behind him) And now the young lady — will she 
please step forward? 

Sally. (Nervously) Y-y-y-yes, sir. (Crosses 
L. to position l. of tent) 

Scott. (Indicating chair l. of tent) Sit down, 
my child. Please remove your glove. (She sits 
dozen and removes gloves) I feel that you are in 
trouble — in perplexity. You did well to come to 
Miraculo : he can help you. 

Sally. I'm sure you can — I've heard such won- 
derful stories about your mystic power. Oh, I 
do need heln so badly. 

Scott. Tell me, my child, what disturbs you. 
There is no trouble Miraculo cannot lighten — no 
question he cannot answer. 

Sally. What I want to know is — well, it's about 
a girl — a girl who has run away from home. I 
want to know • 

Scott. (Bending forzvard carjcrly) Yes? 

Sally. I want to know first if they have found 
any clues — her uncle or the police — if they know 
where she is hidden — and if they are going to 
catch her. And thoi I want to know 

Scott. You wish to be told, in short, how this 
young lady may escape from those who seek to 
catch her. 

Sally. That's it exactly. And then I want you 
to tell me 

Scott. Wait ! Wait until I have passed into the 
trance — until I have gazed into the — the fluid — 
Then I will answer all your questions. 

Sally. Oh, could you tell me my name first? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 31 

As you did with Mr. Ding-whistle. Or even my 
initials? 

Scott. Very well. Let me see your hand. 
(Takes Sally's hand and studies it) Yes — ^your 
first name — the initial of your first name — it is • 

Sally. Well ? 

Scott. It is — "S"? (Looks at her eagerly for 
confirmation) 

Sally. That's right ! And the last name ? 

Scott. (Studying her hand) The last name — 
Is that a "D"? 'A "D"— or a "T"? I cannot be 
quite sure until I look into the fluid — but I think it 
is a "D." 

Sally. Yes it is! "S. D." That's right. I 
wouldn't have believed it was possible ! 

Scott. Before you go, I shall tell you your full 
name. I feel almost sure of it now — but I prefer 
always to be positive. Are you ready for the 
trance ? 

Sally. Y-y-yes. What am I to do? 

Scott. Ask me your questions — first about the 
past, for if I tell you true things of the past, you 
will more easily believe what I tell you of the 
future. 

Sally. I do believe in you. I think you're won- 
derful — simply wonderful. 

Scott. Do not be alarmed at anything- I may 
say or do while gonig into the trance. (^ Scott iHses, 
elevates ink-well in both hands, places it again on 
tea-table, goes through several elaborate oriental 
salaams, and utters heart-rending moans. Sally, 
frightened, rises; the moaning ceases, and Scott 
falls back into his chair, gazing straight in front of 
him zvifh a fixed stare. Sam pokes his head out 
between curtains of doorzvay l. c, and presently 
withdraws it) 

Sally. What do you see? 



32 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. Darkness ! Deep, impenetrable dark- 
ness. Will the clouds never break? — Ah, now they 
are lightening : I see clearly. 

Sally. What do you see? 

Scott. (Rather Jialtingly) I am in a strange 
cit\ — walking a^ong a street — a paved street. On 
each side of it are — sidewalks — and — and houses — 
some on one side — and some on the other 

Sally. How clear^y he must see it ! What is 
the name of the citv ? 

Scott. I don't know — not yet. Wait — along the 
street comes a man, read"ng a paper — let me look 
' — it is "The Harrisburg Herald." 

Sally. Harrisburg! Oh, wonderful ! 

Scott. Down the steos of one of the houses 
comes a girlish figure. In her hand she carries a 
suitcase • 

Sally. (Excitedly) Yes ! Yes ! Go on ! 

Scott. She hurries swiftly along, looking now 
and then over her shoulder — she seems to fear she 
is being foPowed 

Sally. What is she like? 

Scott. (Casing straight at Sally and obviously 
describing her, although she is unconscious of this) 
She is young — and dark — and gloriously beautiful. 
Her eyes are darker, even, than her hair — and wide, 
and frank and open. 

Sally. Yes — she has often been told that she 
is beautiful. But the house she comes from — de- 
scribe it. 

Scott. (In difficulties) It is — it is — quite a big 
house 

Sally. That's true ! You are marvelous ! What 
is the number? 

Scott. The number? 

Sally. Yes — the number of the house. ^Sam 
pokes his head out betzveen curtains of doorway 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 33 

L. c, wares neivspapcr which contains this informa- 
tion, and pantomimes to Douglas necessity of get- 
ting paper to ScottJ 

Scott. Ah, yes — the number. Let me see — why, 
what is this ? The scene fades away ! I can see 
nothing! (B\ beating tom-tom, Douglas gets 
Scott's e\e, and pantomimes to Scott that Sam 
can suppiv the information) 

Sally. " What's the matter ? 

Scott. I cannot explain it. I can no longer see 
the street — Ah ! It is your eyes ! Close them at 
once ! 

Sally. My eyes? 

Scott. They are too bright. They scatter the 
mists of the past. Shut them tight, I tell you 

Sally. (Putting her hands over her eyes) 
They're shut! (^Sam tiptoes down l. c. to l. of 
tent with newspaper in Jiis hand) 

Scott. Then keep them shut — until I give you 
permission to open them. If you disobey me, I 
cannot read your future. (^Sam passes Scott nezvs- 
paper through side-curtains of tent, behind Sally) 
Ah, that is better. I see m.ore clearly now. (Shakes 
out newspaper and turns over page in effort to find 
information. Sam starts up tozvard doorway L. c.) 

Sally. What is that strange, rustling sound? 

Scott. (In mysterious whisper, shaking nezvs- 
paper and causing tustUng sound) You hear the 
trailing garments of my ghostly attendant. (^Sam 
turns and looks inquiringly tozvard ScottJ Do not 
open your eyes ! If you were to catch one glimpse 
of this hideous creature, I would not answer for 
the consequences, f Sally digs her fists into her 
eyes, zvhile Sam goes out l. c.) What was it you 
asked me? 

Sally. (In frightened zvhisper) The number 
of the house. 



34 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. (Reading from newspaper) Two-forty- 
six. 

Sally. Yes ! And the street ? 

Scott. There is a sign — one moment — and I 
will read it for you. (Hunts in newspaper) North 
Front Street. 

Sally. I never heard of anything so wonderful. 
fScoTT folds up nezvspaper and places it beneath 
tea-table) 

Scott. Nozv, you may open your eyes. The 
spirits have vanished. 

Sally. (Opening her eyes) But the girl! Do 
you know why. she is running away? 

Scott. To escape from her uncle. 

Sally. Oh, he has been so mean to her ! 

Scott. The uncle — her guardian — is a strange 
man — in many ways. He might even be described 
as peculiar. He is a man — a man of — well, a mean 
man! 

Sally. Indeed he is ! Trying to make her marry 
a man she simply despises! 

Scott. And it was to avoid marrying this man 
Norris that she fled from ]\Ir. Hyde. 

Sally. (In great surprise) Norris! Hyde! 
Why then — you know their names! But the girl's 
name — you don't know that? 

Scott. (Rising) Oh, yes, I do. Her name is 
Sylvia Deane! 

Sally. (Rising) Yes, it is Sylvia Deane. Now 
tell me — can she escape her uncle? Oh, she won't 
be caught, will she? 

Scott. You don't want her to be caught, then? 

Sally. Oh, mercy, no. I want her to get away. 

Scott. Why ? 

Sally. (Frightened by his eagerness) Why, 
you see — she's — she's — well, she's a very particular 
friend of mine. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 35 

Scott. (Sarcastically) Is she, indeed? 

Sally. Tell me ! Will she get away ? And then 
tell me where I can find her 

Scott. \M11 she escape ? I'll tell you that ! No ! 
She will not ! She'll be caught ! 

Sally. Oh, dear ! 

Scott. She's caught now — at this very moment. 
We've caught her. We've caught yoii — iov you are 
Sylvia Deane ! (Points an accusing finger at her. 
Sally is frightened, screams and runs over r. 
Scott steps forivard out of tent, c. Sam enters 
L. c, thrazi's open curtains drazvn in front of win- 
dow up L. admitting light, then comes down l. 
Douglas puts tom-tom on small table l. and goes 
R. to L. of SCOTTJ 

Sally. AA' hat's happened ! What does this mean ? 

Scott. It means. Miss Deane, that the missing 
heiress is found. 

Sally. But /'m not — Aren't you Miraculo? 

Scott. No. 

Sally. Then who are you? 

Scott and Douglas. (In unison, removing hats 
and table-covers with a flourish) We — are — de- 
tectives! 

Sam. (Going r. to l. of Douglas j I'm one too. 
(^Scott and Douglas lay hats and table-covers on 
table R. c.) 

Sally. (With a cry of fear) Detectives! But 
Avhat do you want of me? 

Sam. Young woman, Hyde has offered ten thou- 
sand dollars for the return of Sylvia Deane. That's 
what we want — ten thousand. 

Sally. But I'm not Sylvia Deane. 

Scott. Why, you admitted yourself that your 
initials were "S. D." 

Sally. (Calmly) So they are. My name is 
Sally Driscoll. 



36 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. But — but — you wanted to know how 
Sylvia Deane could escape! 

Sally. Of course I did. I wanted to help her. 
And I thought that you — that Miraculo — could tell 
me how, and where to find her. 

Scott. But — but 

Sally. Oh, it was horrid of you to ^:>lay such a 
trick on me ! 

Douglas. If you're not Sylvia Deane. how do 
you know so much about her? 

Sally. Because she's my dearest friend. 

Scott. But how did you know she ran away to 
get out of marrying this chap Norris ? 

Sally. Why, she wrote me about it 

Sam. She wouldn't have to run away to get out 
of marrying him. Her uncle can't make her marry 
when she doesn't want to, even if he is her guardian. 

Sally. Oh, of course he couldn't make her, 
legally. But he and her aunt — especially her aunt 
— wanted her to marry him ; and they nagged and 
nagged at her until, in sheer desperation, she ac- 
cepted him. Her Aunt Clara's always been just as 
mean to her ! And of course her Uncle Dan sides 
with his wife. 

Scott. But you said she accepted him — did she 
change her mind? 

Sally. I should say she did ! She found out 
he was simply after her fortune — that he had awful 
debts and wanted her money to pay them. And she 
told her uncle she'd never marry the man ! But th'^ 
invitations were all out, and he wouldn't recall 
them. Said that she'd have to go on with it, un^^il 
— well, do you wonder that she thought the easiest 
way out was to run away? 

Scott. Poor youngster ! What a darned shame. 

Douglas. Did she tell you — in her letters — 
where she was going to hide? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 37 

Sally. Oh, she didn't even tell me she was 
e^oing- to run away. But when I read of it in the 
papers, I knew the reason at once. And I don't 
blame her one bit. 

Sam. Aw, rats! Can't you see she's stringing 
vou? She's talking about herself. (To SallyJ 
You don't happen to have that letter with you, do 
you ? 

Sally. Why, I don't know — (Looks in hand- 
hag) — No, I haven't. 

Sam. Thought not. (Picks up paper from floor 
under tea-table) Here's her picture — Looks just 
like her. 

Sally. (Crosses l. to position between Sam 
and Douglas, takes paper and looks insulted) I 
don't see how you can say so. It's nothing but a 
horrid smear. 

Scott. (Crosses Douglas l.. takes paper from 
Sally and reads) "Her hair is very dark and 
thick, her eyes a dark brown." 

Sam. (Inspecting her closely) All correct — as 
per specifications. 

Scott. She has a dimple in her chin. 

Sam. It's moved ! 

Scott. What's moved? 

Sam. The dimple. It's moved up on her left 
cheek. Can you beat that — for a dimple? 

Scott. All correct. She's the girl. 

Sally. (Nozv thoroughly frightened) But I'm 
not Sylvia Deane, I tell you. I'm not. I'm not. 
I'm not. (With a sob) I want to go! 

Sam. Not much ! We're going to keep you here 
until your uncle comes and gets you. 

Sally. (Indignantly) It's outrageous. You've 
made a dreadful mistake. I want you to let me go. 
(Throws herself into chair l. of tent, sobbing) 

Scott. (Very uncomfortable) Don't. Please 



38 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

don't cry. I can't stand it. We're not going to 
hurt you. 

Sally. (Rising) Then let me go. I'm not 
Sylvia Deane. Honestly I'm not. Please don't 
keep me here. 

Scott. I'm sorry — but we've got to. 

Sally. Oh, listen to me. My name is Sally 
DriscoU and I live in Buffalo and go to Miss Worth- 
ington's school for girls on 54th Street. Some of 
the girls had told me how wonderful Miraculo was 
and I thought perhaps he could help me to find 
Sylvia. Call up Miss Worthington's. See if what 
I say isn't true. 

Sam. Don't do it, Scott. It's some trick. 

Scott. (After a pause) ^A'hat's the number? 
(Crosses Douglas r. and picks up telephone on 
table R. c.) 
' Sally. Oh, thank you. 4076 Plaza. 

Douglas. That won't prove anything, Scott — 
even if there is a Sally Driscoll at the school Miss 
Deane probably knows some of the girls 

Scott. (At telephone) Hello, central. 4076 
Plaza, please. No — 76. (To Sally j For whom 
shall I ask ? 

Sally. Why — any of the teachers. 

Scott. Hello? Miss Worthington's School? 
I'd like to speak to one of the teachers, please. 
Oh, yes, Miss Foster. Is there a Miss Sally Dris- 
coll at the school? There is? 

Sally. There! (Claps her hands. Scott, at 
telephone, motions for silence. SJie begins to put 
on gloves, preparatory to going) 

Scott. What? Oh, she did. You're quite sure? 
Thank you. ("Scott hangs up telephone receiver) 

Sam, Douglas and Sally. Well? 

Scott. There is a girl at the school named Sally 
Driscoll. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 39 

Sally. I told you ! I'm Sally Driscoll. 

Scott. But — Sally Driscoll left on the 3 156 this 
afternoon for Stamford to spend the night with 
friends. One of the teachers put her on the train 
and stayed with her until it started. 

Sally. (With a sigh) Oh, dear! Of course 
they think I've gone. 

Scott. Perhaps you had better explain. 

Sally. Well, Miss Worthington would have a 
fit if she thought any of us went to fortune-tellers. 
So I had to plan it on the sly. I zuas going to 
Stamford — Elinor Francis asked me up for her 
dance to-night — and you have no idea what a 
perfectly terrible time I had to get Miss Worthing- 
ton to let me go. Bu^- of course, as I knew Elinor 
so well, and her mother and my mother were school 
girls together • 

Scott. Never mind your mother and her mother. 
What about the trio to Stamford? 

Sally. I planned to take the 3 156 to Stamford, 
just as Miss Foster told you. Miss^ Tuttle — one of 
the teachers— "chapped" me down to the train. Of 
course, she zms going to stay with me until .the 
train left — but w- met Edi^h Benton — she's Mrs. 
John Benton of S^amfo^-d. you know — and she told 
Miss Tuttle she needn't wait, as she'd look after 
me. Then it seemed such a wonderful chance to 
see M-raculo that I told Edith I simply had to wait 
over for the next train. I got away from her 
somehow, and telegraphed Elinor to meet me on the 
ne.vt train — (Giqqlcs nervously three times, once at 
each man, in effort to seem at ease. Sam echoes 
her giggle sarcastically) 

Sam. Did you ever hear such a rigmarole? 

Sally. (Indignantly) Why, every single word 
of it is true ! 

Scott. You claim to be Sally Driscoll. Miss 



40 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Foster, who ought to know, says Sally Driscoll is 
in Stamford. You're in New York. And if you're 
not Sally Driscoll, you're Sylvia Deane. I guess 
that settles it. 

Douglas. We'd better telegraph Hyde to come. 

Scott. With the reward. 

Sam. In cash. (^ Sally sits in chair l. of 
tent) 

Scott. I'm going to put Miss Deane up in my 
sister's room. We'll have Nora stay with her. Miss 
Deane, will you give me your word not to try to 
leave the house until your uncle comes? 

Sally. No, I won't. I'll do everything I can 
to get away. 

Scott. Then we'll have to stand guard all night. 
AVe can't afford to take any chances. 

Sam. We won't. 

Scott. Sam, will you send that telegram? And 
see the newspapers don't get hold of it. 

Sam. I'll run over and send it from the Vander- 
bilt : I know the girl there. But — (Feels in his 
trousers' pockets) — Don't you think you'd better 
slip me some money, Miraculo? You took all mine, 
f Scott crosses Douglas and Sally l. and returns 
to Sam his five-dollar hill) 

Scott. Doug, have Nora go up and see that 
Cornelia's room is ready. 

Douglas. (Going r.J All right. 

Scott. Oh, and ask Popham to come in here, 
will you? 

Douglas. I'll tell him. (Goes out r. Scott 
(IOCS up behind tent and begins to take dozvn 
the curtains zvhich still dangle from the dome- 
light) 

Sam. Say, Miss Deane. why were you such a nut 
as to run away? Might have known you'd get 
caught. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 41 

Sally. T tell you I'm not Miss Deane. 

Sam. Pretty crabbed sort of guy, old man Hyde, 
I suppose? 

Sally. I tell you I don't know. Won't you let 
me alone? 

Scott. (Having finished taking down curtains, 
zvhich he lays on the tzvo rear chairs, comes down 
betzveen table R. c. and tea-table) Sam, stop hound- 
ing Miss Deane. She's put up a brave fight. We've 
caught her — that's enough. (^ Sally takes off coat 
and hat and lays them on chair to R. rear of 
her) 

Sam. I only asked a question. 

Scott. Well, don't. 

Sam. Oh, very well. But I'll keep my eye on 
you to-night. The trouble with you is, you've got 
one of those sympathetic natures. TSam goes out 
l. c. ) 

Scott. Miss Deane, we'll make you as comfort- 
able as we can. I'm sorry Ave have to keep you 
here — I'm sorry we caught you. 

Sally. \\'hy ? 

Scott. I don't know. (A pause) Nora, the 
maid, will stay with you to-night, so you need not 
feel nervous 

Sally. Thank you. 

Scott. I'm going to give you my sister Cor- 
nelia's room. ("Sally sobs) I hope you'll like it. 
("Sally sobs) She's a school-girl. too. ("Sally 
sobs) She goes to Miss Spear's. 

Sally. (Sitting up in excitement ) Surely not 
Cornelia Hamilton? 

Scott. (Sitting opposite her on one of the 
chairs that had formed a corner of the tent) Yes. 
Do you know Cornelia ? 

Sally. I've met her — Christmas before last. 

Scott. Where ? 



42 SYL\'IA RUNS AWAY 

Sally. (Innocently) In Harrisburg. /^ Scott 
smiles and Sally puts on her dignity ) I was visit- 
ing there. 

Scott. Whom were you visiting? 

Sally. Why, Sylvia Deane. (Both laugh, Scott 
rises and goes a fezv steps R.J I know that must 
sound suspicious — ^to a detective. 

Scott. Fm not a real detective. 

Sally. Then don't you think you could let me 
go? 

Scott. I — I can't. 

Sally. (Coldly) Oh. of course not. I had for- 
gotten the reward. 

Scott. I wouldn't mind so much for myself. 
It's for my friends. You see, I got them into this 
trouble. If it were only for myself — Fd — Vd let 
you go this minute. ^Popham enters R. } Wouldn't 
you like to go up to your room ? 

Sally. Yes. Will you please send the maid 
to me? 

PoPHAM. (With cold disapprorai) You sent 
for me, sir. 

Scott. Yes. Popham. Miss Deane. here, will 
be staying until to-morrow 

Popham. Mr. Lea has told me the circum- 
stances. I disapprove most strongly, sir. of the 
entire affair 

Sally. (Rising eagerly ■ ^h. :Mr. Hamilton, 
he's right. Let me go ! 

Scott. Is your disapproval so strong. Popham, 
that it \\nll prevent you from obeying my 
orders ? 

Popham. Ah — no. sir. 

Scott. Good. Then, if Miss Cornelia's room is 
ready 

Popham. Xora has just finished, sir. 

Scott. Then show Miss Deane up. 






SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 43 

PoPHAM. Yes, sir. This way. Miss Deane. 
(Goes up R., then up stairs and out door at head 
of stairs) 

Sally. (Goes up l., then r. to foot of stairs, and 
turns) Oh, won't you please let me go? 

Scott. I can't. 

Sally. (JValks angrily to top of stairs, then 
turns, with a sob) I hate you. (Goes out door at 
head of stairs) 

Scott, (c.) I don't much blame you. TDoug- 
LAS enters R.) 

Douglas. Here's Nora. Thought you'd want to 
talk to her. (^Sylvia enters r., closing door behind 
her, and crosses Douglas l. to Scottj 

Sylvl\. ]\Ir. Lea said you wished to see me, sir. 

Scott. Yes, Nora. There's a young lady here 
— a — a — friend of my sister's — I want you to look 
after her — act as a sort of, well, sort of chaperone 
to her — until to-morrow. 

Sylvia. (Surprised ) Is she staying the night, 



sir 



Scott. Er, — yes. You see, she supposed when 
she came that Eliza — ]^Irs. Popham — would be here. 
Her uncle is coming for her — but not until to-mor- 
row — and so — she has to stay here. 

Sylvia. Yes, sir. 

Scott. She's in my sister's room. Run up and 
do what you can to make her comfortable. 

Sylvia. (Starting for door r.) I'll go right up, 
sir. 

Scott. Oh — just a minute, Nora. 

Sylvia. (Returning l. to Jiini) Yes, sir? 

Scott. It's just possible the young lady may 
make some peculiar statements — don't pay any at- 
tention to her. She's not always quite clear in her 
head — like as not she'll want to go out pretty 
soon 



44 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sylvia. You don't mean she's not right here? 
(She taps her head) 

Scott. Oh, not exactly that. But she has lapses 
— mental lapses. That's why we're keeping her 
here 

Sylvia. Yes, I see. Poor thing ! I'll do all I 
can for her, Mr. Scott. 

Scott. Good. Come on, Doug! (^Douglas 
crosses Sylvia l. Scott takes his arm and 
both zvalk L.J JVe'z'e got to decide just hozv we 
are going to manage to-night, f Scott and Doug- 
las go out L., Scott still talking. He closes door 
L. behind him. Sylvia stands a moment watching 
them off L., with her back to staircase. Sally ap- 
pears at top of staircase, and comes down- 
stairs) 

Sally. (Pleasantly, on the landing, seeing only 
Sylvia's hack) I suppose this is Nora 

Sylvia. (Turning tozvards Sally J Yes, Miss. 
And you are the young lady I am to — (Recognises 
Sally J — Sally Driscoll ! 

Sally. Sylvia Deane ! (RusJies dozvnstairs and 
down c. between tea-table and table r. c. Slie and 
Sylvia rush into each other's arms and embrace) 
How in the world do you come to be here? And 
dressed like a servant? 

Sylvia. (Putting her hand over Sally's mouth) 
Hush! They think I a;;/ one. My old nurse Eliza 
is housekeeper here 

Sally. And you got her to take you on as a 
maid ? You are clever ! But you must go away at 
once 

Sylvia. No ! I'm going to stay hidden right 
here — with Eliza — and teach Uncle Dan and Aunt 
Clara a lesson. 

Sally. But you can't stay ! The boys have just 
telegraphed your uncle to come. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 45 

Sylvia. Uncle Dan? Coming- here? How did 
they guess that I'm Sylvia Deane? 

Sally. They didn't. They think I am. But if 
you're in the house when your uncle comes, he'd 
be certain to discover you. You must get away as 
fast as you can — they won't suspect you. 

Sylvia. You're right. I'd die of shame if Uncle 
Dan caught and dragged me home like a naughty 
child. I don't know where to go — but I'm going! 

Sally. Hurry ! Take my hat and coat. (Picks 
lip hat and coat from chair and hurriedly helps 
Sylvia put them on) Telephone me to-morrow at 
the school. Good-bye, dear. (Kissing Sylvia J 

Sylvia. I'll go the back way. (Hurries to door 
R. and opens it, but Popham enters and bars the 
way ) 

Popham. Where are you going, Nora? 

Sylvia. I — I don't like the place. I'm leaving. 
(Attempts to pass Popham out door R.j 

Popham. You can't go to-night. 

Sylvia. (In a panic) I'll go if I want to. 
(Rushes to door l. Scott and Douglas enter l. ) 
Oh, Master Scott — please let me go. 

Scott. Why, Nora — what's wrong? 

Sylvia. I don't want to stay ! 

Scott. Why not? 

Sylvia. Why, I — I — (Suddenly turning to 
Sally J — I'm afraid to stay in the house with a 
crazy person. 

Scott. Keep still ! She can't stay here entirely 
unchaperoned. You've got to stay ! 

Sylvia. (In desperation) I won't. I'm going! 
(Rushes for door l. c. Sam enters l. c.J 

Sam. (Sliding door l. c. to, and standing in 
front of it) No, you don't. We're closed for the 
night. 

The curtain falls 



ACT II 

Scene: The scene represents the second floor of 
the Hamilton home. The stage is divided into 
two rooms of unequal size by a wall, zvhich 
extends dozvnstage tozvard the footlights, at 
right angles to the rear wall. This zvall must 
not be extended too far dozvnstage, or it zvill 
interfere with the viezv of part of the audience. 
Well dozvnstage in this dividing zvall is a door 
which opens to the R. and tozvard the rear 
wall. 

The smaller room, on the right, represents 
Cornelia Hamilton's bedroom. The wood- 
work is white, the paper light and dainty. In 
the R. wall, well dozvnstage, is a large window, 
hung zvith over curtains which are not drawn; 
and. beneath the zvindozv, a divan, zvHh a copy 
of "Vogue'' lying on it In the R. rear corner, 
running along the R. zvall, is a dainty zvhHe 
bed zvith lace curtains. Against the rear wall 
of this room is a low, zvhite dressing-table, 
with a broad mirror and covered zvith toilet 
articles and feminine knick-knacks. A chair, 
covered with cretonne, stands before the dress- 
ing-table. Electric lights are set in brackets 
about the zvalls and are controlled by a szvitch 
set in the dividing wall, directly belozv the door 
in it. 

The larger room, on the left, represents the 
upstairs hall. In the l. corner of the rear 
wall is an open doorzvay, leading to what is 
supposed to be the top platform of the stair- 

46 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 47 

case seen in Act I, zvhich is supposed to come 
lip from L. There is another door in the l. 
wall, well downstage and opening ontzvard to 
L. Against the l. zvall stands a massive ward- 
robe, zvith large doors provided zvith lock and 
key. Between the zvardrobe and the door down 
L., hut ser out somezvhat from the l. wall, 
stands a small table and chair. Against the 
dividing zvall, directly below the door in it, is 
set a large comfortable armchair. Electric 
lights are set in brackets about the walls and 
are controlled by a szvitch set in the rear wall, 
just to R. of the doorzmy u. l. Woodwork, 
furniture and zvall paper are dark and heavy, 
contrasting zvith the feminine daintiness of the 
bedroom. 

As the curtain rises, a clock off-stage is heard 
striking three. The bedroom, R., is brilliantly 
lighted, but the hall, l., is dim, zvith only one 
of the electric zvall-brackets turned on. In the 
bedroom r. Sally stands zvatch'ing Sylvia, 
zvho, still in maid's costume, is kneeling at the 
door in the dividing zvall, zvith her ear to the 
keyhole, hi the hall, in the armchair dozvn R., 
PopiiAM lies asleep, snoring lightly. 

Sylvia. I think he's asleep. 

Sally. Are you sure? (^Popham snores loudly) 

Sylvia. Positive! Just Hsten to him snore! 
("PoPHAM snores again) 

Sally. (Clapping her hands softly) This is the 
very chance we've been waiting for. If you can 
only pick that lock — (^Sylvia takes hairpin from 
her hair and sets to work to pick lock) — and get the. 
door open, we may be able to slip out of the house. 

Sylvia. (Working away at lock with hairpin) 
I can't seem to move it ! 



48 SYLVIA RUXS AWAY 

Sally. Oh, \'ou must! I wonder who's outside? 

S\x\TA. (Trying to squint through keyhole) I 
can't see a thing. 

S-\LLY. I think it's Douglas Lea. /^Popham 
snores loudly) 

Syl\ta. (Angrily) It's not ! I'm sure he doesn't 
snore like that. It's probably Scott Hamilton. 
("PoPHAM again snores loudly) 

Sally. (Angrily) It's not. 

S^"L\"iA. Oh, dear! I'ac broken my hairpin. It 
isn't strong enough. 

Sally. (Bringing Syixia button-hook from 
dressing-table ) Try this button-hook. f^S\x\^A 
throzL'S doum broken hairpin, takes button-hook, 
while Sally turns r. and looks out irindow) Svhna ! 
Don't you suppose, if I were to open the window 
and scream with all my might 

S^XYLA. (Rushing r. to her) Xo ! X'o ! You 
mustn't ! 

Sally. But someone might hear us and come 
and let us out. 

SYL^^A. Ye- — ^probably a policeman. He'd 
arrest me and send me straisrht home to L'ncle Dan. 

Sally. Oh. dear! That's true. 

S^x^^A. (Going l. to dividing door and starting 
to zvork again on lock w'fh button-hook ) I think 
I can op>en it with this. 

Sally. Oh. do tTy\ Syhia, we're going to get 
you out of here before your uncle comes. 

S^-LM^A. (Forcing lock) I'yc got it. ^S^x\x\ 
opens diziding door quietly. Sally comes to door- 
way) 

S.\LLY. (JVhlsperinq) Popham! And fast 
asleep. This is luck. Come now. careful ! (Clos- 
ing diziding door quietly behind them, they tiptoe 
cautiouslr tozL^ard door u. L. Just before they 
reach it Popham awakens and rushes after them) 



SYL\^TA RUXS AWAY .49 

PoPHAM. (In hud z'oice) What's this? Oh, 
Nora, Nora — this will never do. (He seizes each by 
the hand and hrijigs them downstage, Sally on L., 
Sylvia 011 r.) 

Sylvl\. Oh, Popham. hush. Don't call. Help 
us. 

Sally. Oh, please, Popham. 

Sylvia. Please. 

Sally. Please. 

Douglas. (Enters l., blowing whistle) Pop- 
ham ! \\'hat do you mean by letting them out ? 

Popham. I let them out? Indeed, Mr. Lea, I 
did no such thing. They came out. 

Scott. (Enters u. l. and switches on lights in 
hall) What's the matter? AMio let them out? 

Douglas. Popham. 

Scott. Didn't I tell you to watch? 

Sam. (Enters u. l. aiid comes to r. of Scott) 
What's wrong? \\'ho let them out? 

Scott and Douglas. Popham. 

Popham. Oh, ^Mr. Graham — oh, ^Ir. Lea — oh, 
IMaster Scott — I did not! (Doorbell rings off) 

Scott. Oh, go answer the bell. It's all you're 
fit for. (^Popham goes out u. l.) 

Sam. They've joined forces against us. Wonder 
how the deuce they got out? (Goes R. to dividing 
door) I locked the door myself — and here's the key. 
(Takes key from his pocket and holds it up. Then, 
stooping dozvn, he picks up broken hairpin from 
floor and comes c.) So you picked the. lock, did 
you ? 

Scott. (Taking hairpin from Samj A hairpin ! 
That was clever. 

Douglas. Popham's no earthly use. He was 
talking to them as sociable as you please. 

Sam. We can't trust him. And, see here, you 
Nora ! You're put here to watch that girl. 



50 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

PoPHAM. (Enters u. l. zmth telegram, comes 
dozen to L. of Scott J A telegram for Mr. Hamil- 
ton. 

Douglas. I'll bet it's from Hyde. 

Scott. (Opening telegram) It is from Hyde. 

Sam. What does he say? 

Scott. It's from Philadelphia ! He's on his 
way here now. (Reading) "Arrive New York 4.10 
A. M. Hang on to the girl. Daniel Hyde." 

Sam. You bet we'll hang on to her. 

PoPHAM. And Avhat shall I do now, Master 
Scott? 

Scott. (Angrily) What do I care zuhat you 
do? Clear out! (^Popham goes out u. L.j 

Sam. (To SallyJ Listen! We're going to 
keep you here until Hyde comes. You needn't. 
think you're going to get away. The next time you 
try it, I'll— ni— 

Sally. What will you do? You dare not do 
anything. 

Scott. (Crossing r. to Sallyj Oh, yes, we do. 
I've got it, Sam. Every time they try to escape, 
they've got to pay a penalty. 

Sally. You are going to fine us? 

Scott. Yes. For each attempt to escape, you 
will be fined — one kiss. 

Sally. Oh, how dreadful! 

Sam. Scott, you certainly are there with the 
ideas. 

Sally. I thought you were gentlemen ! 

Scott. Oh, za'e shan't try to kiss you — unless you 
try to escape. If you do — it will be your fault, not 
ours. 

Sam. Miss Deane has made one attempt to 
escape and therefore owes me one. (Crosses R. to 
Sally, intending to kiss her) 

Scott. (Angrily flinging himself at Sam and 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 51 

throtving him hack to L.j What do you mean? 
How dare you 

Sam. Ain't it a penalty? 

Scott. For any future attempts, yes. But not 
now. 

Sam. Well, it ain't any pleasure to me. I just 
looked on it as a disag^reeable duty. 

Sally. (Indignantly) If you have quite fin- 
ished with us, we will leave you. Come, Nora. 

Sam. (Crossing r. to Sallyj Now, Nora, re- 
member we're paying- your wages — not this girl. 
So you ought to look after our interests. And I 
warn you, if she gets away, you'll lose your 
job. 

Douglas. (Crossing r. to Samj Stop bullying 
Nora. I won't have it! 

Sam. (To girls) Come, now, in you go. And 
if that lock's picked again, I'll — (Ferociously) — I'll 
take away all your hairpins. 

Sally. Oh ! (Follows Sylvia through dividing 
door and slants it. Sam locks it again and puts kev 
in his pocket. Both girls appear very much de- 
pressed ) 

Sam. (To Scott and Douglas) You stay here. 
I'm going to watch outside. (Goes out u. l. In 
room R. Sylvia has been in tears, zuith Sally com- 
forting her. While the girls converse, Scott and 
Douglas, in room l., talk in loiv tones together. 
During pauses in conversation in room r., such 
fragments of conversation between Douglas and 
Scott may be heard as ''wonderful girls'' ''beauty," 
"the very moment I sazv her," etc.) 

Sally. (Goes to window down r., opens it and 
leans out) Sylvia, come here ! There's a little shed 
out here not five feet below the window. 

Sylvia. Yes, the laundry. Well? 

Sally. I believe we could manage to get down 



52 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

to the ground by it. There's a treUis, and vines 
up the sides. 

Sylvia. (Joining Sally at ivindozv) Why, so 
there is! (Looks out zvindoiv, hut drazvs back with 
shudder) Oh, but Sally, dear, I'm sure I should 
fall. 

Sally. You've got to risk it. 

Sylvia. It's awfully far down. 

Sally. Yes, there isn't much to hold on by. 

Sylvia. If we only had a ladder 

Sally. I've got it ! We'll tie the sheets to- 
gether. I read about it in a book once — (Rushes to 
bed and begins to tie sheets, blankets and pillow- 
cases together. Sylvia grasps idea and hastens to 
help her) 

Sylvia. Splendid ! 

Scott. (In room l., taking out cigarette) Miss 
Deane ! (The girls pantomime their fear that their 
plan has been discovered) 

Scott. Miss Deane ! 

Sally. (After a pause) Yes? 

Scott. Do you mind if I smoke? (The girls 
pantomime their relief) 

Sally. (Giggling softly) It is a matter of per- 
fect indifference to me zvhat you do. (^ Scott sighs 
sadly. He and Douglas light cigarettes. The girls 
in room r. bustle round speedily but quietly, tie 
sheets together, tie one end to post at foot of bed 
and drop other end out zvindozv) 

Sally. Now, Sylvia, hurry ! I'll follow you. 

Sylvia. (Looking fearfully out zvindozv) It 
makes me dizzy, just to look. Sally, I can't do it. 

Sally. Of course you can ! Come — I'll go first, 
to show you how easy it is. (Seats herself on zvin- 
dow-sill and grips rope ladder in both hands ) 

Sylvia. Careful, now, dear. Don't fall, please 
don't fall! 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 53 

Sally. (Her teeth chattering) It's — it's aw- 
fu'ly — far 

Sylvia. Don't go all the way at once, Sally — 
and don't go fast. Stop on the shed and rest. 

Sally. I'm going. (Holding rope tightly, she 
lowers herself until she touches shed roof zvith her 
feet. It is supposed to he only about four feet 
helow win dozv- sill, and as she stands on it, she can 
be seen through zvindow) 

Sylvia. What's the matter? 

Sally. I'm on the shed. It's easier than I 
thought. (Disappears from viezv along shed, then 
suddenly gives loud scream) 

Sylvia. W^hat is it? 

Sally. (Reappearing at ivindozv) Someone — • 
climbing up the trellis. Help ! Help ! Pull me 
back. (^Sylvia seizes her arms and endeavors to 
drag her back through windozv. Sally''s screams 
have been heard by Scott and Douglas in room l. 
They rush to dividing door, beat upon it and try 
to open it, but find it locked) 

Douglas. What's happened? 

Scott. What's the matter? (Sam appears upon 
shed, framed in opening of zvindozv, beside SallyJ 

Sam. Thought you'd get by me, did you? Well, 
don't try it again, unless you want to pay another 
penalty. (Kisses her on cheek in very business-like 
zuay. Sally screams and slaps him. Sylvia 
screams. Scott and Douglas batter at dividing 
door) 

Scott. Sally ! Sally ! 

Dolxlas. Nora ! (Rushes to door u. L., whist- 
ling and calling) Sam! Sam! Bring the key! 

Sam. (To SallyJ Get back into the room! 
(^Sylvia pulls Sally into room r., and Sam fol- 
lozvs, leaving windozv open. Sam opens dividing 
door zvith key, zuhich he leaves in lock, and zvalks 



54 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

into hall l., to astonishment of Scott and Doug- 
las. Sally and Sylvia follow Sam into hall L.j 

'Scott, (c.) Sam! Where did you come from? 

Sam. In the window. Found Miss Deane going 
out. Just in time. 

Sally. He kissed me! He kissed me! 

Scott. Sam, did you dare kiss that girl? 

Sam. Sure. She tried to escape. I had a per- 
fect right to. 

Scott, Who cares about your right f You Ou^ht 
to be ashamed of yourself. 

Sam. WeW, what are you going to do about it? 
You proposed the kissing, / didn't. (Go^<; up stage ^ 

Sally. (Crosshig l. to ScottJ Yes. it's all 
yOur fault. You shouldn't have proposed anything 
so dreadful. (Crosses back rJ 

Scott. I Avarned you. (Crosses R. to Sally) 
You owe on^ kiss to Mr. Lea and one to me. Mr. 
Graham, I take it, has already collected his. 

Sally. (Rubbing her month angrily) I should 
say he has ! 

Douglas. Nora, you're in this, too. You ow^ 
a kiss apiece to Mr. Hamilton and me. Is the debt 
to Mr. Graham paid? 

Sylvia. No, it is not. And I advise ^NFr. Grahriiii 
not to try to take it. 

Sam. (Comhig down) Oh, I don't want to ki- 
a servant! (Crosses l. Douglas stops him ) 

Douglas. If you don't stop insulting Nora, 

Sam. I'm not going to kiss her — that's flat. H 
you think so much of her, I'll sign my kiss over 
to you. 

Douglas. Good! Any more of the same of- 
fered? (Crosses Sam r. to Scott) 

Scott. Yes, I'll trade my kiss from Nora fo- 
yours from Miss Dean^. 

Douglas. Done! I'd like to corner the market. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 55 

, Sylvia. You ought to be ashamed of yourself — 
and me a nice, respectable servant girl — (Crosses 
Sally and Scott l. to Douglas j 

Sally. I hate you, Scott Hamilton, I bate you. 

Scott. ( Going -r. to SallyJ Miss Deane, I hokl 
options on all your k'ss^'^, hv^ T cancel the chlv . 
You little silly, did you think I'd kiss you — against 
your will? While you're my prisoner? 

Sally. (Imptdsively) Oh, you are a nice boy! 
I knezv you were ! 

Douglas. (To Sylvia j I would not think of 
taking such a liberty, Nora. It was only a joke. 

Sam. I got mine ! 

Sally. (To Scott) You're as generous n-^ can 
be. I'll show vou I can be generous too. (Takes 
pencil and card fro^'i handbaq and scribbles on card. 
She gives :t to Scott and goes r. to dividing door ) 

Scott. V'hp^'s th'"^ (R^ads from card) "I. O. 
U.— On- ki^s. S-^^iy D-ico^:" You darling! 
(Rushes R. toward Sally, but she runs in room r., 
slamming dividing door in h's face) 

Sam. Come, No!-a. Get in there! (^Douglas 
leads Sylvia to dividing door and she goes in, 
Scott going np as t^iey move r. Sam goes up l. 
and calls) Ponham ! (In room r. Sally has gone R. 
and sat down on divan under windozv down R. 
Sylvia goes up, gets chair in front of dressing- 
table, brings it down and places it bv foot of bed) 

Scott. I'm afraid we can't trust Nora any more. 
She's evidently doine a'l she can to help Sallv. 

Sam. I never did trust her. (^Douglas glares 
r-f him) But we've got to have someone with Miss 
Deane. 

Scott, f faking key from dividing door, which 
he closes, and putting it in his pocket) Not much 
use of locking the door. (^Popham enters u. lJ 

PoPHAM. You called me, sir? 



56 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. (Crossing Douglas l.) ^ Popham, Tm 
going to give you one more chance. 

Sam. But if anything else happens — call us! 

Scott. We'll take the same stations as before. 
Come on, Sam. ("Sam goes out u. l. and Scott 
follozi's him. Douglas goes out down l. Popham 
crosses r. and sits in armchair down r.J 

Sally. No use. 

Sylvia. Four men against two girls ! 

Sally. But men are naturally stupid. Two girls 
like us ought to be able to outwit them. 

Sylvia. But how? 

Sally. (After a little pause) Sylvia — I have 
the most wonderful plan. 

Sylvia. What? 

Sally. A sure plan for your escape. 

Sylvia. Tell me quick. 

Sally. Pm going to pretend that you've been 
impudent — and complain about you to Scott. When 
he comes up you must say the most awful things 

Sylvia. And maybe he'll discharge me ! 

Sally. Don't you see? 

Sylvia. (Clapping her hands) Good! I can 
be awfully impudent when I try. 

Sally. (Rising) Well, do your worst. (Goes 
to door in dividing zvall and opens it) Popham ! 

Popham. (Leaping nervously to his feet and 
facing dividing door) It's no use asking me to let 
3^ou go. Miss. I'd never dare. Master Scott would 
fairly flay me alive. 

Sylvia. Oh, Popham, you poor, frightened old 
simp, wake up and show some pep. 

Popham. Nora! I'll tell Eliza of your remarks, 
and she won't let you stay. 

Sylvia. Mind your own business ! You and 
"Sally" here make me weary. 

Sally. Do you hear that, Popham? She calls 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 57 

me "Sally," instead of ''Miss Sally," as she 
should. I won't stand any more of her im- 
pudence. Ask Mr. Hamilton to come here at 
once. 

Sylvia. Hurry, you old idiot ! Tell him I'm 
tired of waiting on "Loony Lulu." 

Sally. How dare you ! 

PoPHAM. Nora! Off you shall pack as soon 
as Miss Deane's guardian comes. fPoPHAM 
hastens out u. l.) 

Sally. (Embracing Sylvia j See! It's begun 
to work already. 

Sylvia. I haven't begun yet. Just wait until 
I get started. ('Scott enters u. l. and comes down 
R. toward dividing door) 

Scott. You sent for me? 

Sally. Yes, Mr. Hamilton. I don't think I can 
put up with Nora's impudence any longer. (^Doug- 
las enters l. Sally starts to come through divid- 
ing door from room r. to hall l., but as she gets to 
door, Sylvia jostles her violently, pushes her out 
of the zuay and passes through door into hall L. 
ahead of her. Sally follozvs her into hall l.) 
Nora, you dreadful girl, stop. 

Sylvia. Oh, shut up, Sally! 

Scott. (Shocked) Nora! How can you! 
Have you no manners? 

Sylvia. Honest, Master Scott, it gets on my 
nerves waiting on a nut like her. 

Sally. How dare you call me such insulting 
names? 

Sylvia. Why, Master Scott himself told me you 
were cracked. 

Sally. Mr. Hamilton! Did you say that? 

Scott. No ! No ! Of course not. 

SvLVhA. Oh, now, Master Scott, quit crawling. 
You know vou did ! 



58 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Douglas. Of course you did, Scott. You can't 
blame Nora. 

Scott. But, Sally — Miss Deane — it was only a 
blind — I had to give her some explanation of why 
you were here 

Sylvia. Yes, I think myself it needs some ex- 
plaining. 

Sally. (Weeping) Oh, of course, if you back 
her up and encourage her to insult me 

Scott. But I don't. (Turning to Sylvia j 
Miss Deane is as sane as I am. 

Sylvia. (Tossing her head) Well, she might 
be that, and still have more than one screw loose. 
('Douglas bursts out laughing) 

Sally. (To Scott J Now, perhaps, you'll real- 
ize that she's a horrid, impudent, ill-bred little 
thing. 

Sylvia. Pooh ! I don't mind that little snip. 

Sally. To think of being insulted by a 
menial. 

Douglas. (Angrily) A menial ! That's going 
it pretty strong. Nora, you're right. She is a snip. 

Scott. Shut up, Doug, she's not ! 

Sally. Mr. Lea has been paying her too much 
attention. He treats her as an equal — and it's quite 
turned her silly, little head. 

Douglas. (In angry protest) Miss Deane ! 

Sylvia. (To Sally J If anybody's head is 
turned it's yours. Yes, and I know who has 
turned it! 

Sally. W^hat you need is a good slapping — and 
I've a mind to give it to you. (Goes angrily l. to 
Sylvia j 

Sylvia. Don't you dare lay a finger on me ! 
You'll get the worst of it if you start anything. 

Sally. Mr. Hamilton, I appeal to you. I want 
you to discharge that girl at once ! 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 59 

Scott. She deserves it — but how can I? You 

must have some sort of a chaperone 

Sally. Nonsense ! Who ever heard of a servant 
girl for a chaperone? Besides, I don't need one. 
I trust you absolutely. 

Scott. Miss Deane, trv to put up with her until 
your uncle comes. (To SylviaJ Nora, this time 
I'll overlook it, but the next impudent word you 
say, out you go! ("Sally and Sylvia exchange 
pleased glances) And you must stop calling Miss 
Deane "Sally." 

Sylvia. I'll call her anything I please! Pretty 
fresh, her breezing into the house as bold as brass. 
Master Scott, she's setting her cap at you. 

Sally. (To Scott; Are you going to stand 
there and let her insult me? 

Scott. Oh, Miss Deane, I wouldn't have had 
this happen for the world. (To Sylviaj Nora! 
Pack your things and leave this house at once. 
You're discharged! 

Sylvia. (Going toward door u. L.j Veiy well. 
You ought to give me a week's pay, but I don't like 

the place anyhow 

Scott. Not another word ! Go ! 
. Douglas. (Goes up,, seises Sylvia by right 
wrist, thus preventing her from leaving, and turns 
to Scott; Stop, Scott. This is all Miss Deane's 
fault. I won't have Nora discharged. 

Scott. This is my afifair. She's my maid— in 
myj house — and I'll discharge her if I wish. Nora, 
go! 

Douglas. (Holding Sylvia; Nora, don't budge 

an inch! 

Sylvia. Thank you for taking my part. Mr. 
Lea, but I won't stay where I'm not wanted. (Tries 
to break away, but Douglas pulls her back. She 
shows chagrin at this unexpected development) 



6o SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Douglas. (Soothingly) Indeed you're not 
going. Scott didn't mean it ! 

Scott. I did, too. Nora, go! 

Douglas. You sha'n't go! (^ Scott intervenes, 
grasping Douglas' arm- and holding him finnly. 
They squabble, Sylvia breaks away from Douglas 
and, zvaving her hand in farezvell to Sally, who 
shozvs her delight, she runs for doorzvay u. l., 
bumping into Sam^ who enters there. He grasps 
her arm and pulls her back into hall) 

Sam. (Coming down l._, with Sylvia on his h.) 
Trying to get away again? Not from me. 

Scott. No. She's been impudent to Miss Deane 
and I discharged her. 

Douglas. I won't have her discharged. 

Scott It's none of Doug's business. 

Sam. Of course it is. My business, too. We 
can't leave Miss Deane without some sort of 
chaperone. 

Scott. But she says she doesn't want a chaper- 
one. 

Sally. No, I don't. 

Sylvia. (Maliciously) I'm bound you don't. 

Scott. Nora ! Be still ! ! 

Sam. (Bluntly, to Scott j I don't care \vhat she 
wants or what you want, but what would Hyde say 
if we had no chaperone for his niece? 

Scott. Of course ! I forgot. You're right — 
absolutely right. I'm sorry, Miss Deane, but Nora 
will have to stay with you until your uncle comes. 

Sally. Another indignity. (Goes angrily 
through dividing door into room r.^ and over r. to 
divan, where she sits) 

Sylvia. But I don't want to stay and submit 
to such treatment. 

Sam. AMio asked you what you want? Get back 
into that room ! 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 6i 

Sylvia. (Crosses three boys r. and goes to divid- 
ing door) This is the worst place I ever had ! (She 
goes into room R., slams door behind her, and goes 
R. to chair, where she sits) 

Scott. Doug, I guess you and I had better watch 
here in fifteen-minute shifts. 

Sam. All right ! I'll watch outside. 

Scott. I'll take first shift. 

Sam. Whistle if they try to slip anything over. 

Scott. You bet we will, f Sam and Douglas go 
out u. L. Scott goes l., sits at chair in front of 
table, opens drawer of table, takes out pack of 
cards and begins to play solitaire) 

Sylvia. ( In room r.) Oh, it's maddening! One 
minute more — and I'd have been out of the house. 

Sally. It was perfectly tragic. (Irrelevantly) 
Isn't he good-looking? 

Sylvia. Yes, Douglas Lea is one of the hand- 
somest men I ever saw. 

Sally. (Contemptuously ) I mean Scott. 
Douglas Lea isn't a bit good-looking. 

Sylvia. Why, Sally, he is so. 

Sally. Anyway, he spoiled our perfectly good 
plan. You'd be gone now if he hadn't interfered. 
The mean thing!! 

Sylvia. Don't you talk like that about him. Of 
course I'm heart-broken over our failure — but it 
was simply sweet of him to take my part. 

Sally. (Shrugging her shoulders) Oh, well, 
if you're in love with the man ! 

Sylvia. (Laughing) My dear, you know you're 
crazy over Scott. 

Sally. I am not. (A pause) Well, what if I 
am? He's been perfectly heavenly to me. Hon- 
estly, Sylvia, do you care for Douglas? f Sylvia 
smiles shyly, and nods her head affirmatively) Oh, 
how romantic ! And he thinks you're only a ser- 



62 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

vant. Sylvia ! He might help you. If he loves 
you — why don't you tell him who you really 
are? 

Sylvia. No ! No ! I can't be sure he does. 
Why don't you ask Scott to let you go? 

Sally. I did ask him once, and he wouldn't. 

Sylvia. But that was ever so long ago. I be- 
lieve he would — now. 

Sally. My dear, it doesn't matter so much about 
me. The important thing is to get you out of the 
house. 

Sylvia. But don't you see? They're only keep- 
ing me here as a sort of chaperone for you. If 
you got away, they'd be willing to let me go. 

Sally. That's true. 

Sylvia. Oh, go on, Sally, try it ! I know Scott's 
wild about you. 

Sally. (Eagerly) Do you think so? 

Sylvia. Anyone could see that. (^ Sally 
rapturously embraces her) Try it, Sally — for my 
sake! For if you get away, of course they'll let 
tne go. 

Sally. Very well. But I'm sure he doesn't 
care — as much — about me — as you think. 

Sylvia. We shall see. (^ Sally opens dividing 
door and steps into hall r. Sylvia follows her to 
door, ziith obvious intention of listening to con- 
versation. Scott, startled, leaps to his feet) 

Sally. May I talk to you a moment? 

Scott. No, yes. That is, please do. I've been 
crazy to talk to you but I didn't want to intrude. 
Won't you sit down? (^Sally looks in room r., 
sees Sylvia listening, then, with cool glance at her, 
closes dividing door in her face. Sylvia makes 
gesture of annoyance and, going over r. to window, 
picks up copy of ''Vogue" which lies there. Sally 
sits in armchair down RJ 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 63 

Scott. (Impulsively) I want to tell you, Miss 
Deane 

Sally. Driscoll, please. 

Scott. You still insist 

Sally. I've told you from the first I am Sally 
Driscoll. 

Scott. But if you aren't Sylvia Deane, why try 
to escape? Mr. Hyde will be here soon. And 
then, if you're not his niece, we'll let you go. 

Sally. I know how suspicious it sounds. For 
someone else's sake I must get away before Mr. 
Hyde comes. I wish I could explain, but I can't — 
for the secret is not my own. (A pause) Some 
day, you'll know — and then, I hope, you'll forgive 
me. 

Scott. Forgive youf Can you ever forgive mef 
I can never forgive myself. Miss Deane — Miss 
Driscoll, our pursuit of you started as a joke — a 
foolish, miserable joke — that's the trouble with me 
— I've always taken everything as a joke — even my 
business — but now I'm serious — dead serious. I 
don't care if you are Sylvia Deane — please forgive 
me. 

Sally. There's nothing to forgive. You have 
been very kind. 

Scott. But you said you — hated me. 

Sally. Of course I said that — and treated you 
abominably. But surely you took that as a joke? 

Scott. No, I didn't. 

Sally. I'm afraid you don't understand girls 
very well. 

Scott. I don't. They never mean what they 
say or say what they mean. 

Sally. (Laughing ) Why, I think you under- 
stand them very well. 

Scott. Then when you said you hated me, you 
didn't mean — vou did mean ? 



64 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sally. (Laughing provokingly) Oh, but don't 
make a rule of it. Girls are never consist- 
ent. 

Scott. (Desperately) Then how can I under- 
stand you? 

Sally. (Shaking her head, with a smile) How 
can I tell? We do not always understand our- 
selves. 

Scott. But I zvant to understand you. I never 
cared before. Is it quite hopeless? 

Sally. (Rather dreamily) There comes one 
day someone who does understand us, who breaks 
through the barriers we half-unconsciously raise in 
his path ; who sees, glimmering through our silly, 
idle chatter, the real "us" whom perhaps even we 
ourselves have never known before. He understands 
us, and through him — we understand ourselves. 
When we are kiddies we call him the fairy prince. 
When we are older — (After a long pause) — Do you 
still think I am Sylvia Deane? 

Scott. I don't want to think so. If you could 
only explain ! 

Sally. Yes, anyone would believe me then. I 
know that not one in a thousand — ten thousand — 
would believe me with every shred of evidence 
pointing the other way. And yet, I thought that 
perhaps you might look beyond the appearances that 
are so dreadfully against me ; might read the real 
truth in my eyes. Look at me. I am not Sylvia 
Deane. (Leans forward and looks Scott fear- 
lessly in the eyes) 

Scott. (Gazing into her face) I do believe you. 
Against appearances, against my own common 
sense. You say you are not Sylvia Deane. I be- 
lieve you. You can go. 

Sally. Then I was not mistaken. You are 
the one man — in ten thousand — '— 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 65 

Scott. TU take you, myself, wherever you want 
to go. 

Sally. But your friends? 

Scott. I'll explain to them that we've made a 
mistake. You've convinced me you're not Sylvia 
Deane. I thhik I can convince them. (Blows 
liis zvhistle loudly) 

Sally. (After a moment's pause) Then I can 
really go? 

Scott. Yes. I'll explain to the boys. (^Sylvia, 
hearing sound of whistle, comes to dividing door 
and opens it. Sam and Douglas rush in u. l. and 
come dozvn, Douglas l. of Sam J 

Sam. Have they tried it again? 

Scott. Boys, I've something to tell you. We've 
made a frightful mistake. Miss Driscoll has con- 
vinced me that she is not Miss Deane. I've prom- 
ised to let her go at once. 

Sam. (Crossing Douglas l.J Oh — no — no. 
You may believe her — I don't. 

Scott. I do believe her, and I've made her a 
promise. You're not going to stop me from keep^* 
ing it? 

Sam. You guessed it, Scott. We are. 

Scott. Doug, you'll stand by me? 

Douglas. No, Scottie, not in this. 

Sam. Two to one, Scott. You're over-ruled. 
We're going to pull this deal off even if we have 
to lock you up. 

ScoTT. And I thought you'd go the limit for 
me. Oh, Miss Driscoll, I'm disappointed and 
ashamed. I made you a promise — and now I can't 
make good. 

Sally. Don't feel badly. I know you meant to 
let me go — you've done all you could. Most of all, 
you've believed me. 

ScoTr. I do. (^Sylvta goes back into room r._, 



66 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

follozved by Sally, who closes dividing door. 
Sylvia sits on divan r., Sally on chair r., both 
dejected) 

Sam. Now, Doug, you watch up here. 

Scott. (Angrily, taking out his watch and look- 
ing at it) You'll do nothing of the sort. There's 
three minutes more of my watch left — and I mean 
to take it. 

Douglas. He wants to talk to her. 

Sam. I don't care how much he talks, but keep 
your eyes peeled. I believe he'd double-cross us. 
fSAM and Douglas go out door u. L.j 

Scott. (Going quickly r. to dividing door and 
tapping) Miss Driscoll — Miss Driscoll — Sally! 
(^Sally rises, opens dividhig door and comes into 
hall L.J When I say a thing, I mean it. I prom- 
ised you should go and I'm going to make that 
promise good. 

Sally. But how can you? 

Scott. I'm going to play burglar! 

Sally. Burglar ? 

Scott. Yes. Four or five houses near here have 
been broken into during the last two weeks, and 
as soon as my watch is up, I'm going to play 
burglar. (Goes to zvardrobe and opens ivardrobe 
door) I've a mask here somewhere — and a re- 
volver. 

Sally. (Clapping her hands over her ears) Oh, 
no shooting. I'd be scared to death. 

Scott. (Pulling a revolver out of zvardrobe and 
holding it up ) They'll only be blanks. Doug will 
be guarding the hall, and I'm going to hold him up. 
Scream for all you are worth — that will bring Sam 
up with a rush. I'll fire, and in the confusion, you 
must escape. Down the stairs — out the front door 
— you know the way. 

Sally. Yes — yes. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 67 

Scott. Where the deuce is that mask? (Hunt- 
ing about in wardrobe) I had it for the Comedy 
Chib show, and — ah, here it is ! (Finds it and holds 
it up to his face) Did you ever see a more fero- 
cious-lookino^ burglar? Aren't you afraid of me? 

Sally. (Laughing ) Not a bit. 

Scott. You must put out the lights in your 
room. Then Doug won't see you come out. 

Sally. But won't he stop me at the door? 
(Points to dividing door) 

Scott. We must get him away from the door. 
I wonder if Nora — but she wouldn't help you. 

Sally. (Laughing ) Indeed she would. We've 
made up. Nora ! 

Sylvia. (Rises, goes to dividing door, opens it, 
comes into hall l. and closes door) Yes, what is it? 

Sally. Scott is going to help me get away. You 
can help us. (At tJiis moment, the room r. being 
empty. The Burglar apf^cars at ivindozv doimi r., 
standing on laundry roof. He wears a mask and 
carries a revolver in h's hand. Seeing that room r. 
is empty, he removes his mask, shozving features of 
a young fellozv of about eighteen, and starts very 
slowly to raise himself up into room) 

Scott. Can we trust her? 

Sally. (Laughing ) She's as anxious for me 
to g^i away as you are. 

Scott. Then, Nora, you must manage to get 
Doug away from this door, so that Miss DriscoU 
will have a clear road to the stairs. She will ex- 
plain the plan 

Sylvia. I understand. (She goes to dividing 
door, opens it, but turns to l. to' hear rest of con- 
versation. The Burglar, seeing dividing door 
open, dodges quickly out of windozv and completely 
out of sight) 

Sally. I don't know how to thank you. 



68 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. You might let me hear from you — see 
you- 



Sally. Oh, I will, you may be sure- 



ScoTT. Hush ! Here comes Doug. My watch is 
up. Good-bye — and good luck! f Sylvia and then 
Sally enter room r. through dividing door, Sally 
closing door behind her. Sally talks to Sylvia 
in zvhispers. Sylvia nods her comprehension. 
ScoTT, in hall l., drops into armchair dozvn r., pre- 
tending to yazvn as Douglas enters u. l.J 

Douglas. (Coming dozvn r.) Time's up, 
Scottie. I watch here and you take the first floor. 

Scott. (Rising) All right, f Scott goes out 
V. L. Douglas sits in armchair dozvn R.j 

Sally. (In room r., to Sylviaj You're sure 
you understand? 

Sylvia. Yes, yes. 

Sally. Get Douglas away from the door. As 
soon as Sam comes, Scott fires and I escape. And 
then they'll let you go. I'll meet you at Miss Vv'orth- 
ington's. f Sylvia nods, opens dividing door and 
goes into hall l. Douglas rises as she does so. 
Sally stands by dividing door, intending to listen, 
but Sylvia shuts door in her face. Sally szvitches 
out lights in room r., goes upstage and sits on bed, 
half hidden by bed curtains) 

Douglas. Hello, Nora. Anything the matter? 

Sylvia. No. I — I just wanted to talk to you. 

Douglas. Good ! No wonder you want to get 
away from that disagreeable girl. 

Sylvia. Miss — Deane? She's not disagreeable. 

Douglas. I've no patience with her. I can't 
forget the things she said to you. (Syuvw is 
gradually drazving him over l., azvay from dividing 
door) 

Sylvia. That was my own fault. Mr. Lea. she's 
just been telling me about herself — and I feel so 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 69 

sorry for her. I think you would, too — if you 
understood. I think you'd want to let her go. 

Douglas. Let her go? I should say not. Why, 
Nora, she's a regular little idiot. No girl with a 
grain of sense would run away from home. 

Sylvia. Maybe you think not. I suppose it 
wasn't very wise — perhaps it was silly — and flighty. 
But remember that she was very unhappy — that 
her father and mother are dead — and that her aunt 
and uncle — well, they weren't very kind to her. 

/The Burglar appears in window dozvn r., masked, 
with electric torch and revolver. He does not 
see Sally, who is behind bed curtains) 

DoL^GLAS. Oh, no doubt she has plenty of ex- 
cuses. But I've no sympathy with her. Now you 
would never have done such a silly thing. 

Sylvia. Ah, I'm afraid I would. Try to imagine 
me in her place — all alone — no one to go to for 
help. If she'd had some good friend — like you — to 
advise her, she might have behaved dififerently. 
And now you're going to turn her over to her 
guardian, who wanted her to marry a man she 
hated (The Burglar climbs into room r.) 

Douglas. (Impatiently) A girl with no more 
sense than to run away needs a guardian — and the 
kindest thing we can do is to hand her over to him. 
(^Sylvia begins to cry. The Burglar goes l. to 
dividing door and looks through keyhole) Why, 
Nora ! You're crvn'ng ! My dear girl, you mustn't 
— Avhat's the matter? ("Sally sees The Burglar, 
but thinks he is Scott. She rises and tiptoes over 
L. behind him) 

Sylvia. (Weeping) You're — You're so un- 
just 

Douglas. But listen to me, dear (Tries to 



7G SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

comfort her. She zvalks still further over l. ayid 
he follows her, thus giving Sally a clear road to 
doorway u. l. Sally seizes from The Burglar's 
right hand, zvhich hangs at his side, his rci'olver, 
and holds him up, laughing. The Burglar ra'ses 
his hands in astonishment ) Oh, Sco^t, I'm not 
afraid of your old blanks ! (Holds her finger to 
her lips and indicates by nod of her head that there 
is somebody in hall l. The Burglar, frightened, 
makes a dash r., ahoz'e her, but bumps into chair 
at foot of bed, making a loud no'se. Sally, in 
pantomime, cautions h'^m, to be quiet) 

Douglas. (In hall l. j V^hat was that? 

Sylvia. (Trying to divert him) I didn't hear 
anything. 

Sally. (In room r., to The Burglar) Hush! 
Hush ! They'll hear you. Oh, you're a perfect 
darling, and I'll never forget you. And I'm g^oing 
to pay my debt right now. (Leans over and kisses 
him I'ghtly. In astonishment The Burglar sinks 
into chair) 

The Burglar. Hully gee ! 

Douglas. (In hall L.j I knezv I heard some- 
thing. Miss Dean^'s up to her tricks again. 
Miss Deane! (Walks r. toward dividing 
door) 

Sally. (In room r.. /;/ whisper) Oh, he's com- 
ing. .Be Quiet ! I'll hide you! (Takes quilt from 
foot of bed, throzvs it over chair and The Burglar, 
and stands to l. of chair. She conceals revolver 
by holding it behind her back) What is it? f'DouG- 
las opens dividing door and steps into room r. 
Sylvia follozvs him r. to dividing door, but does 
not go through it) 

Douglas. (Szvitchinq on Vqhts in room r. j 
What are you up to? Why did you turn out the 
lights ? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 71. 

Sally. (Haughtily) Because T wanted to. 
Have you any objections? 

Douglas. No. I beg your pardon. (Starts to 
leave room r., but sees chair zi'itJi quilt thrown 
over it) Hello! What have you got there? 

Sally. (Trying to divert his attention and look- 
ing up at ceiling) Where? 

Douglas. (Pointing to chair in which The 
Burglar is hidden) Under that bedspread. 

Sally. Why, I simply threw it over th^^ chair. 

Douglas. There's somebody under th-^*^ bed- 
spread. (He crosses Sally r. and pulls off quilt, 
revealing The Burglar, who snatches his revolver 
from Sally and springs at Douglas. They grapple 
and struggle hack and forth into hall l.. Sally fol- 
lozving. Both girls laugh, thinking it is Scott, and 
scream loudly. The Burglar str'kes Douglas, who 
falls to floor, knocked out temporarily. The girls 
rnsh and kneel by Douglas, both facing down- 
stage, with The Burglar behind them. The 
Burglar makes for door u. l., but at this moment 
Scott, in mask, with revolver in his hand, enters 
u. L. and levels Jiis revolver at The Burglarj 

Scott. Hands up! ("The Burglar raises his 
hands. He and Scott, looking very much alike, 
confront each other) Drop that gun, vou scoun- 
drel ! 

Sylvia. Help ! Help ! He's killed Douglas. 

Scott. What ! Poor old Doug ! (Rushes down 
to^ Douglas. The Burglar, taking advantage of 
his opportunity, rushes out door l. Immediately 
after Popham enters u.l. on the run. As he enters, 
Scott fires several shots and speaks to Sally, zvho 
has been so placed that she has not realised that 
there ivere tzvo burglars) Run, Sally, run ! Now's 
your chance! 

Sally. Oh, Scott, you've done this dreadful 



^2 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

thing for me — ^you're in danger ! I won't leave you. 
fSAM enters u. lJ 

PoPHAM. Thieves! Murder! Police! 

Sam. (Seizing Scott, still masked, and jerking 
revolver out of his hand) I've got him ! Popham ! 
Run for a policeman! (^Popham runs out u. l., 
continuing his cries of ''Murder" and "Police") 
Is Douglas badly hurt? 

Douglas. (Raising himself on his elbow) Where 
am I? Oh, it's you — Nora. dear. 

Sylvia. Yes, dear, I'll stay with you. 

Sam. (To Scott j You'll get yours for this, 
you blackguard. Assault with intent to kill. ('Sally 
begins to cry) 

Douglas. You caught him? Good. (Struggles 
to his feet) All right in a minute. Just a bit dizzy. 
Where's Scott? (Moves unsteadily to chair l. and 
sits. Sylvia follows him) 

Sam. (c.) Where is he, anyhow? Scott! 
Scott! (There is no answer) Good Lord, I won- 
der if this thug got him. I'd kill the man that would 
touch old Scottie. (To Scott J Take off your 
mask! (^Scott does not move. Sam snatches off 
his mask) Good Lord, it's Scott. 

Sally. Oh, Scott, you did it for me. Til stick 
to you. 

Sam. Scott, you did this? 

Scott. (Crossing l. to Douglas^ But I didn't. 
I promised Sally to get her free, and I swore I'd 
keep that promise. I dressed up as a burglar, and 
in the excitement she was to escape. But you know, 
Doug, I wouldn't hurt you. (^Douglas shakes his 
hand) I suppose you think I've played it pretty 
low-down on you. But you see, I believe Sally. 

Sam. Then who was it got Doug? 

Scott. It was a real burglar. He ran out there. 
(Points to door l.) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 73 

Sam. I'm afraid he's gone by this time. (Rushes 
out door L.) 

Sally. Another burglar? (Turning to Scott j 
Didn't you come in the window? 

Scott. (Crossing r. to Sally^ No! I came in 
that door. (Points to door u. L.j 

Sally. It wasn't you I hid under the blanket? 

Scott. No. No. No. 

Sally.. Then it wasn't you that I — Oh, how per- 
fectly dreadful ! (Hides her face in her hands) 

Scott. What! What did you do? 

Sally. I'll never tell you. f Scott pulls her 
hands from in front of her face) I — I paid that 
I. O. U. — to the — burglar ! 

Scott. You darling ! 

Sam. (Coining in door L.J Not a trace of him! 
But to make sure he doesn't come up here again. 
(Locks door l., then crosses r. to Scott and pulls 
him. away from Sallyj This is a nice thing you 
tried to pull off on us ! 

Scott. For a girl like Sally I'd do it again ! 
(With gesture of disgust Sam turns upstage) But 
I've failed ! 

Douglas. (Rising and crossing r. to Scottj 
No, Scott, you've not failed. I know she's Sylvia 
Deane. But she stuck to you like a brick — just as 
Nora stuck to me. If you're on her side, and Nora's 
on her side — then I'm on her side, too. We'll let 
her go! (^ Scott grasps his hand) 

Sam. (Coming dozmi between Scott and Doug- 
las J Just a moment. Fve something to say. You 
sha'nf let her go. 

Scott. It's two to one, Sam. 

Sam. Well, I may be a minority, but I'm a 
scrappy one. Hyde will be here any minute with 
ten thousand dollars and I'm going to get them. 
If you cave in, I'll call a detective — a real one. 



74 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. Oh, Sam, don't spoil everything. 

Sam. It's you who are spoihng everything. Just 
because a couple of girls make eyes at you, you 
throw everything else overboard. I like girls all 
right — but I like 'em in their proper place, and that's 
not in business. 

Scott. You won't withdraw your objection? 

Sam. Withdraw my objection? Nol 

Scott. Oh, well, I suppose there's nothing else 
for it then — (Goes upstage^ then turns suddenly) — 
Sh-hh-hh ! What was that ? (Holds up his finger 
for silence. The others all look round nervously) 

Sam. What was what? 

ScoTT. Hush! (A pause) Didn't you hear it? 

Sam. No. (The others shake their heads) 

Scott. It sounded like someone cocking a pistol. 
in there ! (Points to zvardrobe l. Sally flies to 
Scott's side, Sylvia to Douglas' j 

Sam. The burglar! (Everyone makes a terrified 
movement ) 

Scott. (Tiptoeing l. above others to wardrobe 
L.^ Sh ! Wait a minute. There it is again. 
(Listens at door of wardrobe l.) I can hear 
breathing. 

Douglas. Let's have him out. 

Scott. (Motioning Douglas back) No, no, 
Doug, you've been hurt. 

Sam. (Crossing l. to wardrobe l., above Doug- 
las and below Scottj Let me do this. Come out. 
Gome out! (There is no anszver. Throivs open 
door of wardrobe l. j There's no one in there. 

Scott. Oh, yes there is. (Pushes Sam into 
wardrobe, closing and locking door. Crosses R.j 
Young ladies, you may get ready to go. Mr. 
Graham withdraws his objection. 

Sally. Oh, did you ever see anything so clever. 
(All four start for door u. 'L.) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ^s 

MuLLER. (Entering u. l., followed by Popham ) 
Where is he? (Comes doum c, forcing Sally and 
SeoTT to R. and Douglas and Sylvia to l. of him. 
Popham stands to r. of door u. L.) Good job you 
got him, Mr. Hamilton. 

Scott. The burglar? Oh yes, of course. Sorry 
to say, Sergeant, he got away. We are just going 
out (All four start for door u. l.J 

MuLLER. (Detaining them) Got away? He 
can't have. We've been watching the neighborhood 
ever since the Merrett robbery, and when those 
shots were fired a dozen of my men closed in on 
the house. He's still somewhere inside. 

Scott. Pll discuss it with you presently, but 
first (All four start for door u. l.^ 

MuLLER. (Detaining them) Hold on a minute 
— what's your sweat? 

Popham. (Coming down to l. of MullerJ How 
did he get away ? Mr. Graham had him right enough. 

MuLLER. Had your hands on him? And let 
him get away ? Ain't that just my luck. (To Doug- 
las j Are you Mr. Graham? 

Scott. This is Mr. Lea. He and his friends are 
just going (All four start for door u. l.) 

MuLLER. (Detaining them) Then where the 
devil is Graham ? Did he go out ? 
- Scott. Oh, no — no — he's inside, all right. 

MuLLER. Well, that burglar never got by my 
men, Pll swear to that. Pll bet he's still in the 
house. 

Scott. Pll help you make a thorough search 
presently. But first Pll see my friends out 

MuLLER. All right, Mr. Hamilton. (All four 
start for door u. l. But before they reach it, Sam 
smashes through top of wardrobe, and sticking his 
head and arms out, points to them) 
. Sam. (Excitedly) Stop them. Stop them. 



*]6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Don't let them get away. ("Muller stops them and 
forces Sylvia and Sally domn r., Sylvia to r. of 
Sally; and Scott and Douglas down l. tozvard 
zvardrobe l., Scott to r. of DouglasJ 

Muller. No, you don't. Is that the burglar? 
(Points to Samj 

Sam. No, you fool — of course I'm not the 
burglar. 

Muller. Then who are you? 

Douglas. That's Mr. Graham. 

Muller. Well, what's he doing in there? 

Sam. Can't you see? I'm mowing the lawn. 

Muller. Here, young feller — don't get flip. 

Scott. We're just playing a joke on him. Come, 
girls (All four start for door u. l.) 

Sam. For Lord's sake, Sergeant, don't let that 
girl get out of here. 

Muller. Why not? Who is she, anyhow? 

PoPHAM. (Coming down to l. of Mullerj 
Everything is perfectly proper, sir, I do assure you. 
Miss Deane is only remaining here 

Muller. (In excitement, taking newspaper from 
his pocket) Miss Deane! Deane f Not Sylvia 
Deane! (With stifled scream Sylvia turns to 
Sally, who puts her arms about her protectingly ) 

PoPHAM. Yes, Sylvia Deane. 

Scott. (Angrily) You fool, Popham ! ("Pop- 
HAM goes upstage) 

Muller. (Turning r. to Sally and Sylvia j 
Sylvia Deane! Ten thousand dollars reward I 
This is my lucky night. (Looking closely at them) 
Which of you is herf 

Sally. / am ! 

Scott. Sally ! 

Muller. (Seising Sally by wrist) Then 
you're comin' with me to the station. 

Sally. Yes, Sergeant, take me to the station! 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY ^j 

Keep me safe until my uncle comes for me. But 
first — (Points to three boys) — first — arrest those 
three men ! 

MuLLER. Why, what have they done? 

Sally. They — they — they — they kidnapped me ! 
(Three boys pantomime their consternation) 

Sam. Not me! 

Sally. Yes, you ! (Pointing an accusing finger 
at Sam J Why, you — yon are the leader of the 
gang ! 

Sam. Good night! 

Sally. (Turning to Sylvia j And, Sergeant! 
Let this poor girl here go. They hired her as a 
servant, but she isn't one of the gang and she's done 
all she could to help me 

Sylvia. Oh, yes — yes — let me go — please! 

Sally. Yes, Sergeant, let her go ! She didn't 
want to stay — they kept her here by force 

MuLLER. All right. All right. 

Scott. (Stepping r. to Mullerj See here, 
officer, I want to protest against this absurd 

MuLLER. (Drawing his revolver) Shut up ! 
The maid can go. But all you others are under 
arrest. 

The curtain falls 



ACT III 

Scene : The scene represents the living-room, as in 
Act I. The portieres have been hung up again 
in their accustomed places. A dim light streams 
down the staircase from, the second floor, and 
moonlight filters through window up l. Other- 
zvise the room is in darkness. 

As the curtain rises, the door l. opens and 
The Burglar tiptoes in, closing door behind 
him noiselessly. He creeps to window up l., 
and, masking himself behind portieres, peers 
out, but shakes his head, and then, very quietly, 
sneaks across to door r.^ peeks out, and, nod- 
ding, goes out by this door, leaving it open 
behind him. A moment after he has disap- 
peared, a revolver shot is heard off r., there is 
a crash of falling glass, and The Burglar 
comes in door r. again almost immediately, and 
closes door behind him. The shot is followed 
by a chorus of feminine shrieks from upstairs. 

The Burglar. (In whisper, laughing) Never 
touched me ! 

(The following lines take this speech for their 
cue. While they are spoken, off r.. The 
Burglar searches room with his electric torch, 
runs first to landing of stairs and listens; then, 
as he hears conversation from above growing 
louder and footsteps approaching, comes doimi 
again into room, and crawls beneath the table 
R. c.^ the ample table cover, which falls prac- 

78 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 79 

iically to floor, completely concealing hhn from 
view. When he is hidden, he turns on his 
electric torch, so that audience sees the space 
under table lighted up from within, and so is 
certain of his hiding place. During this busi- 
ness, the following lines are spoken off rJ 

Douglas. (Off r.) I hope they got him. 

Sally. (Off r.) Oh, dear, I zvish they wouldn't 
shoot. It scares me to death. 

Scott. (Off r.) Don't worry. There's no 
danger. 

MuLLER. (Off R.) Naw, lady, there ain't nothin' 
to hurt you. 

Sally. (Off r.) But someone must be hurt. 
It's dreadful. They may have killed the poor fel- 
low. 

MuLLER. (Off R.) Well, anyhow, he hasn't got 
out of the house. 

Sam. (Off R.) Push that button, Scott. Give 
us some light down there. (The lights in room are 
szvitched on from upstairs. Muller and Sally 
appear at door at head of stairs, Sally on Mul- 
ler's right arm. They walk dozvnstairs into room, 
follozved, in order, by Sam, Scott, Popham and 

DOUGLASJ 

Muller. (Beginning to speak on stairs the 
moment he and Sally can be seen by audience) 
He couldnt get out with my men posted all round 
the house. 

Sally. Do you think the burglar was really at 
the window? 

Muller. Sure. Rodney never fires until he sees 
his man — and he always gets him. (He and Sally 
are now l. c. Sam ajid Scott cross them l. arid 
go to extreme l. Popham stands up l., in front 
of window up l., and Douglas at foot of and to 



8o SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

L. of stairs. He keeps looking up tozvard door at 
head of stairs) 

Sally. (Sinking into chair l. of table R. c.) 
Oh, how perfectly awful ! 

MuLLER. (Pointing to closed door r. and start- 
ing toward it) Sounded out this way, didn't it? 

Sam. I think so. ^Rodney enters l. c.) 

Rodney. (Excitedly) I seen him. 

MuLLER. Are you suref 

Rodney. (Comes down, then goes to closed door 
R., opens it and looks out) Of course I'm sure. 
He was just starting to climb out the window. 
(^Rodney goes out r.) Why, where the devil is he? 

MuLLER.' (Crossing to door r.) Rodney! You 
didn't miss him? 

Rodney. (Off r.) I must have. For he ain't 
here. (Calling) Hey, you outside! Seen any- 
thing ? 

Voice. (Off r.) No, sir. 

Another Voice. (Off r.) Ain't seen nothin'. 

Rodney. (Entering door r. and crossing Mul- 
ler L.J Sure he didn't come out this way? 

MuLLER. Well, we didn't see nothin' of him. 
(All shake their heads negatively ) And we come 
right straight downstairs. 

Rodney. Is there a back stairs? 

Sam. Yes, but he couldn't get up by it. I 
locked the door at the top. 

MuLLER. Good. Where does that hallway out 
there lead to? (Points out door r.) 

Scott. To the kitchen — and the cellar. 

Rodney. Then he's hid down there. 

MuLLER. Cornered ! This is sure my lucky 
night. Why, Rodney, I've got Sylvia Deane 

Rodney. (Pointing to Sally J What! Her? 

MuLLER. Yep. I've got the guys that kidnapped 
her, and in five minutes I'll have that burglar. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY -8i 

Rodney. (Starting for door r.) Come on, 

then. 

MuLLER. (Waving hint back to l.) No, Rod- 
ney. You take charge of our men outside. These 
here prisoners, that know the house, they'll help me 
hunt. That burglar's here. 

Rodney. Right, sir. (Goes l. c, then up to 
door L. c.) 

Muller. Oh, — and Rodney! ("Rodney turns 
at door l. c.) Let the servant gal out when she 
comes down. She's coUectin' her duds upstairs. 
This bunch has scared her into conniption fits, and 
she wants to go. 

Rodney. All right, sir. 

Muller. But don't let no one else out — see? 
Rodney. Yes, sir. You know, I'll bet this burg- 
lary is Billy Hinkle's job. He's been operating in 
this neighborhood. You know— his side-partner's 
the swell dresser— one of these here gentlemen 
crooks— and I think there's a skirt in the gang, too. 
The two of 'em might be on this job — look out for 
'em. Billy's a sm.ooth article. 

Muller. (Scornfully) Well, he'll need to be. 
I'm a pretty smooth article myself. ("Rodney goes 
out L. c. Muller goes l.'c, grasps Scott by right 
arm, and, motioning the others to follow him, leads 
Scott over to door r. j Now, then, we're goin' after 
him. Come on, all of you. 

Sally. If you think Fm going poking into the 
cellar, you're ' very much mistaken. There's a 
burglar down there— and he's got a gun. Besides 
— (With a shiver) — there might be rats. 

Muller. No one asked you to come, lady. Tt'^s 
the men I want. Stay here if you like— you can't 
get away. 

Sally. (Coquettishly) Oh, but Sergeant, I 
dont zvant to get away from you. ("Muller beams 



82 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

at her foolishly, then, seeing the others smiling, 
coughs importantly ) 

MuLLER. Come along. (The others fall into 
line behind him, Muller keeping hold of Scott, 
then Sam, then Popham, and finally Douglas. 
Muller turns at door r. and speaks cautiously ) 
Careful, now. (^Muller, Scott, Sam and Popham 
go out R. Douglas, zvho has followed them so far, 
goes up L. of Sally to foot of stairs, and motions 
with his hand to come down) 

Douglas. (In loud whisper) Nora! (^Sylvia, 
still in maid's cap and apron, runs dozvn stairs into 
room) Why didn't you come down before? 

Sylvia. I was waiting- until the policeman was 
gone. I was afraid he'd change his mind about let- 
ting me go. 

Sally. (Rising) You were right. Don't take 
the chance of letting him see you again. Hurry ! 

Douglas. It's all right, Nora. He told the man 
outside to let you pass. ("Sylvia goes r. j Where 
are you going? 

Sylvia. To the kitchen — for my coat and hat. 

Sally. No, Nora — don't. The policeman is 
there. ("Sylvia runs hastily hack l. to foot of 
stairs) 

Douglas. Wait! I'll see if there isn't a coat 
and hat of Cornelia's in the hall somewhere. (He 
goes out l. c.) 

Sylvia. (Coming l. to SallyJ Oh, Sally, isn't 
he the dearest boy ? I'm simply crazy over him. 

Douglas. (Entering l. c. zmth elaborate fur coat 
and hat) I thought so. Here they are. ("Douglas 
and Sally help Sylvia into coat and hat, which she 
puts on over maid's costume) Wish I could take 
you home, but I'm a prisoner. 

Sylvia. (Shaking hands with him) Good-bye, 
Douglas. You've been so kind to me 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 83 

Sally Don't waste time saying good-bye. 

Sylvia I won't. Good-bye, miss. ^Sylvia 
winks at Sally and goes out l. c. Douglas and 
Sally go to zvindow up l. and gaze out. A mo- 
menfs ^paiise,, then a policeman's zvhistle is blown 

loudU outside) 

Douglas. Wbat's happened out tbere? 

Sally Do you suppose they've caught the 
burdar? rRoDNEY enters l. c., dragging Sylvia 
by coat-collar. She is on his R. and is protesting 

zvith tears) 1 ^u^ 

Sylvia. But he said I could go. I m only the 

""do^as. (Turning R.j Yes, officer, she's only 

the maid. ^ 

Sally Of course she's just the maid. 
Rodney The maid? In them togs? Why, that 
coat's worth a thousand dollars. (Muller ^n^^r.y 
door R. follozved, in order, by Scott, Sam and Pop- 
ham. Sam goes up r. Popham stays by door R.) 
We'll see what Muller says. , , c \ 

Muller. (Coming R. c, followed &y bcoTT; 
What did you whistle for? Why, who's this? 

Rodney. Search me. Says she's the maid, but 
she can't come that over me. , , • r 

Sylvia. (Pulling coat open and showing her 
apron) I am the maid. 

Scott. Why, it's Nora! . , ^ 

Muller. Sure, it's the servant girl. Seems to 
be some dresser, don't she? TSam crosses l. to 

SylviaJ ^^ ^ . , 

Sally. (Coming down L.j Yes, sergeant, its 
only Nora. And you know you told her she could 

^^MuLLER. Yes, she's all right. Turn her loose, 

Rodney. tt u -4- 

Sam. (Cutting in quickly) Hold on a minute. 



84 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sergeant. She only came to-day, and before she's 
been in the house twelve hours, we have a visit 
from a burglar. Looks suspicious to me. I bet 
they work together. 

MuLLER. (Slozvly, thinking it over) That might 
be. I shouldn't be surprised. 

Rodney. I'll bet she's Billy Hinkle's Lillian. 

Douglas. Oh, that's perfectly ridiculous. 

Sam. If she's all right, why should she be in 
such a rush to leave at half -past three in the morn- 
ing? (Looks at watch as he speaks) 

Sylvia. (Coming dozvn tozifard Mullerj 
Please let me go. I haven't done anything. 

Sam. Why, by Jove, Scott, look ! She's pinched 
your sister's clothes. I'll swear that's Cornelia's 
fur coat. 

Scott. (Crossing Muller l. and turning up- 
stage) Why, so it is. And it's Cornelia's hat, too. 

PoPHAM. Oh, Nora! 

Douglas. (Corning betzveen Scott and Sylvia j 
What if they are Cornelia's? I told her she could 
have them. 

Scott. Oh, well, then, that's all right. 

Muller. You told her she could take them, did 
you? 

Douglas. Yes, I did. 

Muller. Do they belong to you? 

Douglas. Of course not. What would / be do- 
ing with them? I'm a bachelor. 

Muller. (Sarcastically) Oh, they don't belong 
to you, so you told her she could take them. 
You're a gay lot, you are, in these high-life neigh- 
borhoods. And they talk about the criminality of 
the lower classes. 

Sam. (Coining dozvn R. of Sylvia j No use 
trying to shield her, Doug. She's a thief — and she 
stands in with that burglar. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 85 



Sylvia. I do not. I never- 



MuLLER. That'll do. You're under arrest. Rod- 
ney, don't let anyone leave this house but our own 
men. If anyone tries to escape, fire at 'em. 

Rodney. All right, sir. (^Rodney goes out 
L. c.) 

MuLLER. Now that's settled, we'll tackle the 
burglar again. (To Douglas^ And look here, 
young feller (He pauses) 

Douglas. Who — me? 

MuLLER. Yes, you. When I told you to come 
with me, I meant it. Now, then. (He crosses to 
door R. and goes out, Popham falling in behind him, 
Sam follozvs, then Scott, and finally Douglas. 
Sylvia comes dozvn after them, and they stop at 
door R.. Sam having already gone out) 

Sylvia. (In zvhisper as she passes SallyJ I'm 
going with Douglas. 

Sally. (In whisper to Sylvia, smiling and 
shaking her finger at her) Oh, you Sylvia! 
("Sally moves chair l. of table r. c. forzvard and 
sits) 

Douglas. (As Sylvia comes r. to him) You'd 
better not come, Nora. 

Sylvia. Yes, I — I'd rather be with you. (^Doug- 
las and Sylvia go out door r. together, crossing 
Scott, zvho remains, looking at SallyJ 

Scott. (After considerable pause) Is it true? 
— true that you're Sylvia Deane after all? 

Sally. Of course not, Scott. 

Scott. (Going l. to her) Then you haven't 
deceived me? 

Sally. No, Scott — never. 

Scott. But you told Muller that you were 
Sylvia Deane. 

Sally. Oh, don't you see? It was the silly old 
policeman I was deceiving — not you. 



85 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Scott. But why? 

Sally. (In a low tone) I can't tell you. 

Scott. Then you're Sally Driscoll after all? 

Sally. Of course I'm Sally Driscoll — just as 
I've always told you. And I don't think it's very 
nice of you to doubt my word. 

Scott. I didn't mean to offend you. Salvia ! 

Silly! — I mean Sally (Comes still closer to 

her) 

Sally. (With signs of tears) No, go away. 
You don't trust me. 

Scott. But I do. You've told half a dozen dif- 
ferent stories, but I'm so crazy about you — I've 
reached such a state of blithering idiocy — that I be- 
lieve them all. 

Sally. (Giving him her hand) Oh, thank you, 
Scott. I'll never, never forget you — or your con- 
fidence in me. 

Scott. Never? Really? (^Sally shakes her 
head) Sally, dear, do you mean that? Do you 

mean (Starts to put his arm about her, ivhen 

MuLLER enters door R.j 

MuLLER. Oh, here you are. 

Scott. (Annoyed at interruption) What is it 
now? 

MuLLER. (Sarcastically) Maybe you're deef 
and didn't hear me tell you to come with me. Your 
old butler's so scared he can't tell me the lay of 
the cellar, and I've got to know it. 

Scott. Oh, all right. I'll come. (Goes out 
door R.j 

MuLLER. You might just as well try to keep a 
lot of grasshoppers together as this bunch. (^Mul- 
LER follows Scott out door r. Sally shozus anger 
at Muller's interruption, and, as he goes out, makes 
a face at him behind his back. As soon as Muller 
has gone The Burglar sticks his head out of his 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 87. 

hiding-place beneath table r. c, and looks up at 
Sally. A moment's pause before Sally sees him) 

The Burglar. Hello, kid. (Gets to his feet) 

Sally. (Starting up zvith a faint cry) Oh ! 

The Burglar. (Rushing l. to her and stopping 
her cry zvith gesture) Sh ! I ain't goin' to hurt 
you. 'Well — I come back! (A pause) You ain't 
so glad to see me as you was before. Gee! You 
kissed me then. 

Sally. You're the burglar. 

The Burglar. Sure, I'm the burglar. (Runs 
quietly to door r., listens, then softly closes it) 
Who did you think I was ? The milkman ? Say ! 
I got to get out of this place. " I ain't comfortable 
here. 

Sally. But you can't get away. It's impossible. 

The Burglar. (With a chuckle) It is, eh? 
How do you- know ? 

Sally. Because I've been trying to get away 
myself. 

The Burglar. There! I knew you was one of 
us. I knew it all the time. 

Sally. You mean — a thief f 

The Burglar. Sure. 

Sally. I'm not. But oh ! — if there is a way to 
get out, do tell me. How? 

The Burglar. Don't worry about me, kid. I'll 
get out all right. They never got me yet, and they 
ain't goin' to get me this time. 

Sally. Do you know the house is surrounded? 

The Burglar. Sure. Quite a gang of me 
friends is waitin' fer me outside, but let 'em wait 
I should worry. 

Sally. But then how can you get away? 

The Burglar. Well, to hand it to you straight, 
kid, I ain't just sure meself. Say, girlie, would 
you draw them curtains? (Points to portieres be- 



88 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

fore ivindozv up l.) I don't like me friends peekin' 
through the window when I'm caUin' on me best 
girk 

Sally. (After a moment's hesitation, walks up 
L. and draivs portieres) You funny boy ! 

The Burglar. Boy ! I ain't a boy — I'm a burg- 
lar. Why, I'm eighteen — almost. Honest I am. 
Yes, and there ain't a slicker burglar of my age 
in this whole city of New York. Why, I'm the most 
promisin' young feller in the whole perfession — Big 
Mike Dolan said so himself. 

Sally. Big — who ? 

The Burglar. (Disgusted) Now don't tell me 
you don't know who Big Mike Dolan is. Don't 
you take no interest in public affairs? Say — what's 
your little game? 

Sally. What do you mean? 

The Burglar. What do you do fer a living? 
Are you a dip? Do you work alone, or have you 
got a pal waitin' for you on the outside? 

Sally. What are you talking about? 

The Burglar. (Laughing ) Aw, hand that 
baby-stare stuff to the cops. You can't con me. 
Why, didn't I hear him run you in for a thief? 

Sally. Oh, he didn't mean me. He meant the 
other girl. 

The Burglar. Both of you crooked? Say, 
competition like this would ruin any business. If 
there's three of us on the job, there ain't enough 
swag in the house to make it worth the risk. 

Sally. (Indignantly) Why, I never stole any- 
thing in my life. 

The Burglar. Then, believe me, kid, it's time 
you started. You been wasting yer time. Some 
class ! Why, you could pass for a lady almost any- 
where. But I guess you know how to nip a hand- 
bag without bein' taught. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 89 

Sally. Oh, listen to me. You want to get away, 
and so do I. And I want my — my pal to get away, 
too. 

The Burglar. The other gal? 
Sally. Yes. Will you help me if I help you? 
The Burglar. Kid, you've struck me weak- 
ness. I'd do anything fer a lady. Say— what's yer 
name? 

Sally. Sally. Now how are we going to get 
away? 

The Burglar. (Suddenly snapping his fingers) 
I got a hunch ! I'll sneak upstairs. You get Muller 

■up there alone 

Sally. What good will that do? 
The Burglar. Wait and see. It's dark up 
there. - 

Sally. (Suspiciously) What are you going to 
do to him? 

The Burglar. Oh, I ain't goin' to hurt him. 
I'm only goin' to fix him so he can't hurt me. 
Sally. But how can I get him to go upstairs ? 
The Burglar. That's your lookout. Holy Mike, 
you got to do something. Say, Sal — you ain't got 
another of them kisses handy, have you? (Foot- 
steps and voices heard off r.) 

Sally. Quick! They're coming. 
The Burglar. (Rushing up stairs to top) You 
get Muller up. I'll do the rest. 

Sally. But he's so big and strong. Don't let 
him hurt you. 

The Burglar. (With smile of gratified vanity) 
Gee! She's fell for me. 

Sally. (As footsteps off r. grozv louder) Here 
they come ! f The Burglar goes out door at head 
of stairs, drawing his revolver in view of audience^ 
hut unseen by Sally, as he goes. The door opens 
and Muller enters, follozved, in order, by Scott, 



90 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sam, Douglas, Sylvia and Popham. Muller 
goes to L. c, the others following) 

Muller. Well, he ain't down cellar. That's 
sure. 

Scott. No, we went over every inch of it. 

Sam. (Whose face is streaked with grime, try- 
ing to nth it off) I know he ain't in the coal bin. 

Muller. (Pointing to door l.) What's out 
there ? 

Scott. The library and the den — and a con- 
servatory. 

Muller. (Starting for door l.) All right. 
We'll search them. 

PoPHAM. If I might venture a suggestion, sir — 
perhaps he's upstairs. 

Sally. Yes, Sergeant — I — believe he is upstairs. 

Muller. He couldn't get up there. The door at 
the top of the back stairs is locked, and if he'd 
tried these stairs, you'd have seen him yourself. 
Now we'll search these rooms. (Indicates door l. 
with a gesture, and starts for door, all except Sally 
following. Suddenly he sees that portieres are 
drawn before window up l., stops, looks at them, 
then looks suspiciously at Sally. He turns to 
others) Go on out in the library and wait until I- 
come. I got something to say to this young woman. 
And stay out ! (He steps upstage and Scott, Sam, 
Douglas, Sylvia and Popham cross him l. and go 
out L. Muller turns r. to Sally j Now then — 
vjho drew them curtains? 

Sally. I did. Why? 

Muller. (Suspiciously) I don't quite make you 
out. (With a sudden movement goes up l. to por- 
tieres and throws them open) 

Sally. (Sweetly) Looking for something? 

Muller. The burglar. He might have sneaked 
in there. 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 91 

Sally. Oh, but then I'd have seen him. 

MuLLER. (Still puzzled, moving down toward 
door L.j So you would. 

Sally. (Rushing l. to him and dragging him 
hack) Sergeant, I — I'm sure he's upstairs. 

MuLLER. (Impatiently) I tell you, he couldn't 
have got up there. 

Sally. But — but — you said there might be two 
of them. Perhaps he's been up there all the time. 

MuLLER. The other one ! That's right, he might. 
But no — we looked everywhere before we come 
down, 

Sally. Did you look under the bed ? 

MuLLER. Yes, I done all the old maid tricks. 
Searched the whole second floor. 

Sally. But not the third floor? (Gripping his 
arm and making sign for silence) Hush! Listen! 
Don't you hear something? — way up on the third 
floor? 

MuLLER. (Listens cautiously, then shakes his 
head negatively ) Imagination ! (Starts for door 
L., but Sally drags him up R. toward foot of stair- 
case) 

Sally. I'm sure I heard something ! Oh, please, 
Sergeant, please look ! I'm so nervous. (Pretends 
to begin to cry) 

MuLLER. (Annoyed) Now don't start bawlin'! 
Say, if you belonged to me and got lost, you can 
bet your life I wouldn't offer no reward to get you 
back. Stop it! 

Sally. (Still pretending to cry) I'm fright- 
ened. 

MuLLER. Now stop your cryin', and I'll take a 
look, just to satisfy you. (Goes up stairs to land- 
ing) Where's the electric light switch? 

Sally. I — I don't know. I'm a stranger here. 

MuLLER. Never mind, I'll find it. It's all your 



92 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

imagination. There ain't no one up there. (Runs 
upstairs and goes out door at head of stairs. A 
short pause) 

The Burglar. (Off R.J Hands up! 

MuLLER. (Off R.j Now I've got you! 

Sally. Oh ! (Runs excitedly to bottom of stairs 
and listens. Scuffling sounds are heard, follozved, 
after a pause, by slamming of a door upstairs. 
Then The Burglar appears at door at head of 
stairs, wearing Muller's policeman s coat, with his 
cap, zi'hich is much too large for him, on his head) 

The Burglar. Well, Sal, you did it immense. 
You're a born crook. (Comes dozvnstairs) 

Sally. (Backing away from him L.j What 
did you do to him ? 

The Burglar. I didn't hurt nothin' but his 
feelings. Only he can't bother us until some kind 
soul unties him. Come on. 

Sally. Where ? 

The Burglar, Out the door. Look at me. I'm 
a copper. Pipe me nice blue coat. Pipe me badge. 
And fer the love of Mike, pipe me hat! (Takes 
Sally by arm) I've run you in as a suspicious 
character, and I'm taking you to the station under 
arrest. Do you get me? 

Sally. But will they let us by? 

The Burglar. Sure! They can't stop an 
officer of the law. Come on. It's our one best bet. 
(Releases Sally's arm and starts for door l. c.) 

Sally. Wait a minute. (Runs down toward 
door L.) 

The Burglar. Here! Where you goin'? 

Sally, (Stopping) To get the other girl. 

The Burglar. Nix on that. There ain't time. 
(Comes down l. to her, takes her arm and starts to 
pull her toward door l. c, when Sam a^^o? Scott 
enter l. Sam has washed the grime from his face) 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 93 

Scott. What's become of Muller? Here! 
What are you doin^ to that girl? 
The Burglar. She's under arrest. 
Sam. That's not Muller. (To The Burglar; 

Where is he? ^^ o ^ 

The Burglar. Just stepped out. (To Sally; 

Come along, you. (Starts with Sally tozvard door 

L. c.; 1 1 r ^ 

Scott. Wait. What have you arrested her tor t 

The Burglar. Because she stands in with that 
burglar. 

Scott. Nonsense ! 

Sam. Who are you, anyhow? 

The Burglar. ^I'm from the Fourth Precinct. 
Here's me badge. 

Sam. Well, you're just a little late. Sergeant 
Muller has already taken that girl into custody. 

The Burglar. That don't make no difference 

to me. 

Sam. Oh, don't it? We'll see what Muller has 
to say to that. (Makes sudden break for door l. c. 
and runs out. The Burglar, too late, starts after 
him) 

The Burglar. Come back here! (" Sylvia and 
Douglas enter l.; 

Douglas. What's wrong? 

Scott. Now this fellow is trying to arrest 
Sally. 

Sally. (Turning l. to Scott; Scott, listen! 
He's all right. He isn't a policeman. He's my 
burglar. 

The Burglar. (Drazving his revolver and cover- 
ing them) The devil! You've double-crossed me. 

Sally. No, I haven't. Scott, he's only pretend- 
ing to arrest me. He's really helping me to get 
away. And I've promised, in turn, to help him 
get away. 



94 SYLVIA RUNS -AWAY 

Scott. So that's the game ! (To The Burglar J 
Where the devil have you been? 

The Burglar. Oh, here and there — here and 
there. 

Douglas. Where did you get that uniform? 

The Burglar. That was me present from Mul- 
ler. 

Scott. Say, v^here is Muller? 

The Burglar. Don't you worry about him. 
He's restin' quiet, with a gag in his mouth, in the 
cupboard upstairs. He won't run away: he's 
hitched. 

Sally. Scott, you won't give him up to the 
pohce after all he's done for me? 

Scott. Of course not. It's a bully plan. ("The 
Burglar puts away his revolver) 

Sally. And lend me Nora, please, until to-mor- 
row? I want her with me. 

Scott. Certainly. 

Douglas. If she wants to go. 

Sylvia. (Stepping up between Sally and 
Scott j I'd like to go with her. 

The Burglar. Then you're arrested, too. Say 
— if you want me to get these gals through that 
line of bulls outside, there ain't no time to waste. 

Scott. /\11 right. But I can't have Sally alone 
on the streets at this time of night. You've got to 
arrest me too. 

Douglas. And me. 

The Burglar. Well, I wasn't plannin' to run a 
tourin' excursion, but — come on. I'll arrest the 
whole crowd. Step lively, please. (Starts for door 
L. c, Sally, Sylvia, Scott and Doltglas following 
in line. Sam enters l. c, Rodney following to his 
L. As Rodney enters The Burglar takes off hat, 
which is too large for him, and holds it in hand) 

Sam. What's the parade? 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 95 

Scott. Well, Sam, this cop's arrested the lot 
of us, all over again. 

Sam. All four of you? 

The Burglar. Yes, all four of 'em. (Comes 
dozvn R. and lays cap on fable r. c.) 

Rodney. Sergeant Muller left orders no one was 
to leave the house but the police. 

The Burglar. Well, I made these arrests, and 
I'm goin' to take 'em to the station — see? 

Rodney. Not while Fm here, you ain't. Mul- 
ler's orders go. Who are you, anyhow? I don't 
know your face. 

The Burglar. Fleming's my name. Fourth 
precinct. I was sent up on this case and come in 
the back way. 

Rodney. Oh. Well, you gotta wait till Muller 
comes back. 

Sam. But where is Muller? 

Rodney. Still huntin' the burglar, I. suppose. 

The Burglar, Huntin' the burglar? Why, the 
burglar's caught. 

Sam and Rodney. Caught ! 

The Burglar. Sure ! I caught him meself. 
But he got so violent, I had to lock him up. He's 
upstairs — in the cupboard. You'd better go take 
charge of him. (^Rodney and Sam start l. for 
stairs. The Burglar, the two boys and the two 
girls start for door l. c. Rodney sees them, rushes 
L. again, and stops them at door l. c.) 

Rodney. Let them prisoners alone! I'll stay 
and watch 'em myself. 

Sam. Then I'll see to the burglar. (Rushes up- 
stairs and goes out door at head of stairs) 

The Burglar. Aw, well, if you're goin' to get 
sore about it, I'll beat it. But Muller will raise the 
devil with you when he finds out what you've done. 
(Turning to Sally, in low tone) Look me up any 



96 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

evenin', kid, at Sharkey's place. I'll buy you a pail 
of suds. (Goes out l. c. quickly. Sally runs to 
window up l. and looks out. Loud roars of anger 
are suddenly heard from upstairs r.) 

Rodney. That's a pretty mad burglar. fMuL- 
LER rushes downstairs, in shirt sleeves, furious. 
Sam follows him down and remains at foot of 
stairs) 

MuLLER. (Going l. to Rodney J Where is he? 
(All show real or pretended surprise at Muller's 
predicament) 

Scott. Oh, Sergeant — Sergeant — what has hap- 
pened to you? 

Muller. Where is he? Has he got away? 

Rodney. Has zvho got away? 

Muller. Who do you suppose? The burglar, 
of course. 

Rodney. Ain't he upstairs? I thought he was 
locked in the cupboard. 

Muller. You fool ! / was locked in the cup- 
board. 

Rodney. Why, who locked you up? 

Muller. Two of them. There was another one 
after all. They overpowered me. 

Rodney. Just as I said — Billy Hinkle and his 
pal. 

Muller. You must have seen 'em come down 
this way. 

Rodney. No, there's no one come this way but a 
fresh policeman I never seen before. (Noticing cap 
lying on table R. c.) Why, look! He's left his cap 
on the table there. 

Muller. That's my cap. He had on my uni- 
form. He's the man that locked me up — a great 
big man. Where did he go? 

Rodney. He went out — just a minute ago. 
,-. Muller. You fool ! That's the burglar ! He's 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 97 

walked through the whole blasted lot of you. Come 
on! After him! (Rushes out l. c, foUoivcd by 
Rodney. Police whistles are heard offstage, 
gradually grozving fainter and dying away. All go 
to ivindozv up l. and look out) 

Sally. Oh, I do hope he got away ! 

Sam. With that start he's a mile off by this time. 

Scott. (Looking out ivindozv and laughing) 
Look at the cops run I The whole lot of them are 
after him. 

Sally. (Drazvs Scott down to c, on her r. 
Sylvia foUozvs and goes above and to R. of Scottj 
Oh, Scott, if the police have all gone, Nora and I 
can get away now. 

Scott. So you can ! 

Sam. (At zvindozv up L.j Hello! There's a 
taxi stopping outside ! There's a man getting out ! 
It's Hyde — that's who it is — Hyde! 

Scott. Now, Sally, Hyde will tell them you 
aren't his niece and then you can go. (Doorbell 
rings off l. c.) 

Sylvia. (Running r. to stairs) Then if the 
gentleman's come, you won't be needing me any 
longer. 

Scott. (Follozving and stopping her) Yes, we 
do need you. We want Hyde to see that his niece 
has been properly chaperoned. You're the chaper- 
one. Stand there where he can see you. (Door 
bell off L. c. rings again) 

Sylvia. (Frightened) Oh, dear! ('Popham 
enters L. j 

PoPHAM. Beg pardon, sir — the bell. (Walks 
upstage to door l. c. j 

Scott. (Stopping Popham with gesture) Pop- 
ham, don't open that door until I tell you to. 
CScoTT, Sam and Douglas confer zvith Popham 
up l. c. Doorbell off l. c. rings again) 



98 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Sylvia. (In zvhisper, coming dozvnstage to 
Sally j Oh, Sally, help me. What can I do? If 
Uncle Dan sees me, he'll drag me back home in 
disgrace 

Sally. (In zvhlsper) Yes, yes, dear. I'll get 
you out of the room somehow, f Scott, Sam ayid 
Douglas come a step dozvnstage, leaving Popham 
L. of door L. c. Sally turns to Sylviaj Nora, go 
upstairs and find my coat and hat. Popham took 
them upstairs somewhere. I'll be leaving here in a 
minute. 

Sam. Nora, you stay where you are and make a 
noise like a chaperone. 

Sally. Oh, you silly men, what does Uncle Dan 
care about a chaperone? Don't you suppose he'll 
take my word for it that I've been properly treated 
here ? 

Sam. Ah, then — at last you admit that you are 
Sylvia Deane ! 

Sally. Oh, well — yes. I might as well admit it 
— now. I — I am Sylvia Deane. 

Scott. Sally! (Doorbell off l. c. rings again, 
and continues to ring steadily until Popham has 
admitted Hyde J 

Sally. That's my uncle. He'll be in a hurry. 
Go get my things, Nora, f Sylvia rushes upstairs 
and goes out door at head of stairs) 

Sam. (Triumphantly) Well, I told you so all 
along. 

Scott. (Coining dozvn to Sally^ And you've 
been deceiving me from the first? 

Sally. Of course. 

Scott. (Furiously ) Then I'm glad we caught 
you. Sam, take her upstairs. 

Sally. Aren't you going to turn me over to my 
uncle ? 

Scott. He won't get a glimpse of you until we 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 99 

see if he's going to make good on that reward. 
("Sally crosses Scott r. and zvalks upstairs, fol- 
lowed by Sam. Half-way up she begins to cry. 
Both go out door at head of stairs) Now, Popham 
— you can admit Mr. Hyde. ("Popham goes out 
L. c. and in a moment bell stops ringing off l. c. 
Scott goes r. and seats himself at back of table 
R. c. Douglas walks behind Scott oz^er to extreme 
R. of table R. c. and sits. Popham re-enters l. c, 
and steps to lJ 

Popham. Mr. Hyde. 

("Hyde enters L. c. He carries a stick zmth which 
he cuts the air suggestively as he talks. As 
soon as he enters, Popham goes out l. c.) 

Hyde. (Angrily) How dare you keep me wait- 
ing outside all this time? My name's Hyde. Which 
of you is Hamilton? 

Scott. (Rising) I am Hamilton, Mr. 
Hyde. 

Hyde. (Excitedly) Well, have you got her? 
Have you got n^v niece? 

Douglas. (Rising) Oh, yes, Mr. Hyde — we've 
got her. 

Sam. (Appearing at door at head of stairs) 
Safe and sound. 

Hyde. Then you've made ten thousand dollars. 
Where is she? 

Scott. You'll pay that for her? 

Hyde. Of course. 

Scott. Graham, bring Miss Deane down. CSam 
goes out door at head of stairs) 

Scott. Mr. Hyde, we've done everything we 
could to make your niece feel comfortable and at 
home. She will tell you herself that ever since we 
caught her she has been under the care of our, er — 



loo SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

chaperone. If you would care to see the chaper- 
one 

Hyde. Damn the chaperone ! It's my niece I 
want. 

Scott. She's coming. It is with great pleasure 
and a feeling of pardonable pride that I now re- 
store to your waiting arms your missing niece, 
Sylvia Deane. f Sally appears at door at head of 
stairs, follozved by Sam J 

Sam. (Announcing) Miss Sylvia Deane. 
('Sally, laughing, trips downstairs and goes l. to 
Hyde) 

Scott. (Striking attitude of triumph) Behold! 
('Sam comes dozvnstairs and stands at foot of stairs) 

Hyde. (Going r. to Sally and adjusting his 
glasses) Why, bless my soul — who's this? 

Scott. (Surprised) Why, it's your missing 
niece, Sylvia Deane. 

Hyde. That my niece? It is not. Never saw 
that girl before in my life. (Turns angrily to l. 
Sally hursts out laughing. All hoys show sur- 
prise. Sam follozvs Hyde over L.j 

Scott. (To Sally j You little vixen, who and 
what are you? (^ Sally laughs) 

Sam. She is your niece. She said so! She's 
got to be. Blame it, you're trying to skin us out 
of the reward ! 

Hyde. Nonsense, sir! The money is yours, if 
you've got my niece. But this girl is certainly not 
Sylvia. 

Sam. (To Sa'L'ly) Confound you ! What made 
you tell us you were Sylvia Deane? 

Sally. To pay you back for all you've done to 
me. You've kept me here by force, you made me 
miss a wonderful dance, you've insulted me and 
pulled and hauled me all over this house. T told 
you I wasn't Sylvia Deane, and you wouldn't be- 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY loi 

lieve me. Well, I've made you look pretty foolish 
before Mr. Hyde. I've paid you back. 

Sam. I don't believe you. You might have done 
it to pay me back, but you wouldn't lie to Scott 
without a better reason than that. Why. you cried 
after you'd done it. No! There's some other 

reason. Let me see. You sent Nora upstairs 

(^Sam stands l. c, shaking his head and trying to 

puzzle it out) ^ ^m tv/t 

Sally. (Crossing Sam l. to Hydej Oh, Mr. 
Hyde— you have a taxicab. Won't you take me 

home ? ^ . 

Hyde. Certainly. The sooner I get away from 
these half-baked idiots, the better. Indirectly I am 
to blame for the inconvenience you have suffered, 
and I shall be delighted. ^ . 

Sally. (Seizing his arm and drazvmg him up 
toward door l. c.) Then let's go at once 

Scott. But, Sally! Your coat and hat! Let 
Nora bring them to you. 

Sally. Never mind them. I don't want them, 
rilsend for them. (To Hydej Come on. 

Sam. (Looks upstairs and light breaks on his 
face He daps his knee in great excitement) Nora! 
By gosh, Nora! She begged Muller to let Nora 
^o— sent her out of the room for her things, and 
now she doesn't want her to bring them down. 
What fools we've been. Mr. Hyde, come back ! ^ 
Sally. (In a panic) Come, Mr. Hyde— I can't 
get out of this house too quickly. ^ 

Sam Oh, you can go — if you want to. You ve 
played a good joke on us— but the joke ain't oyer 
yet Don't you want to stay for the finish? (To 
Hyde; Mr. Hyde, we've got your niece. 
Hyde and Douglas. What! 
Scott. Sam! What do you mean? 
Sam Why, don't you see? We've been the 



I02 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

blindest idiots in New York City. Here's Sylvia 
Deane under our very noses, and we never tumbled 
to it. It's Nora! 

Douglas. Nora ! Sylvia Deane ! Ah, now I 
understand. 

Scott. Nora! (Raps his head with his knuckles) 
Solid ivory ! 

Hyde. (Coming down l. ) Well, if you've s^ot 
her, for heaven's sake bring her here. 

Sally. Oh, Scott ! Boys ! Don't let him have 
her. He's been so cruel to her 

Hyde. I ? Cruel ? See here, young woman 

Sally. You have! You tried to make her marry 
a man she hated — a fortune hunter who was only 
after her money — and when she found it out and 
wanted to break the engagement, you made it so 
hard for her that she couldn't stand it and ran 
away. That's what you've done. 

Hyde. (Drawing zvallet from inside pocket and 
waving it) Don't I'sten to her. Here's ten thou- 
sand dollars. Bring me the girl and it's yours. 

Sam. I'm your man! (Starts r. for stairs) 

Douglas. Sam, don't you budge! Ston him, 
Scott! (^ScoTT goes upstage and confronts Sam at 
foot of stairs) The poor girl's had no friend to 
turn to, but now sh?'s got me. (Walks over l. and 
confronts Hydej I won't let you have your niece, 
ten thousand or no ten thousand ! 

Hyde. You won't. And why not? 

Douglas. Because you're no fit guardian for 
her, and she doesn't want to go back to you. I'm 
her guardian now. If she's willing — and I think 
she is — I'm eoing to marry her. 

Hyde. What ! 

Sally. Oh, how perfectly splendid ! I must tell 
Sylvia that ! (Rushes over r. to stairs, upstairs and 
out door at head of stairs. Scott and Sam show 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 103 

great satisfaction at Douglas' announcement) 

Hyde. Why, you must be mad ! Do you suppose 
that Sylvia — my niece — would marry a detective? 
Bring her down, I say. 

Douglas. Not until we've come to an under- 
standing. 

Hyde. It's impossible! Grotesque! Just wait 
until Norris gets here. You seem to forget she is 
erigaged to him. Why, the marriage is appointed 
for to-morrow. 

Douglas. She hates him. 
. Hyde. Nothing of the sort. A mere lover's 
quarrel. Why, she's already regretted her silly 
escapade, and will be glad to make it up with him. 

Douglas. I'm sure she cares for me. You might 
as well go, for she's going to stay here until to- 
morrow morning, and then, if she's willing, she'll 
become my wife. 

Hyde. (Go'nq angrily up L.j Oh, you're stark, 
staring mad! ("Douglas goes up R. and places him- 
self determinedly hetiveen Scott and Sam at foot 
of stairs, SmTT on his r. and Sam on h's l.) 

Sam. (Beativq Douglas on hack) Pretty work, 
Doug! And she's worth a million. Hang the re- 
ward. Why, we can start a brokerage firm of our 

own. 

Scott. Oh, shut up, Sam. Congratulations, 

Doug ! 

Hyde. The girl might be fool enough to marry 
hini— I wouldn't put it past her— just to annoy me.. 
(Coming over R. to SamJ Graham, you seem to 
have a little more sense than these other maniacs. 
Hand Svlvia over to me now, and the whole ten 
thousand's yours. 

Sam. Nope. Nothin' doin'. What's a mere ten 
thousand, eh, Doug? That wedding's coming off 
to-morrow, and I'm going to be best man. 



104 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

Hyde. Well, I'll soon stop your foolishness. 
We'll see what the police think of your holding the 
girl here by force. (Goes l. toward zvmdozu up L. 
NoRRis, a man of forty-five, but slightly effeminate 
and overdressed, enters l. c. His make-up must 
not he exaggerated) 

NoRRis. (r. of Hydej Ah. Daniel. I hastened 
over as soon as I left our bags at the hotel. Have 
you got her ? 

Hyde. Not yet, Ridgeley. But she's here. 

NoRRis. Capital. Capital. 

Scott. (To Douglas J What do you think of 
your hated rival? 

Sam. (Eyeing Norris ivith distaste) I back 
you to win, Doug — a hundred to one. 

Hyde. (To Norris j I'll show them they can't 
keep me from getting my own niece if there are 
any police around. (Crosses Norris r., and goes 
out L. c. He is heard calling off l. c.) Police! 
Police! Officer! (^Norris folloivs him out l. c. 
Sam, Douglas and Scott come down to l. c. j 

Scott. I'm in this game with you, Doug, heart 
and soul — what can we do? (Police ivhistles are 
heard outside) The streets are still full of cops and 
Hyde seems to have flagged one. 

Douglas. If we could only get rid of Hyde for 
half an hour 

Scott. That would give her time to slip away. 

Sam. Maybe the cops will arrest him. They've 
arrested everyone else in sight. 

Douglas. Oh, this is no time for jokes, Sam! 
But — if we could only fix it so they would ! 

Sam. How? 

Douglas. I don't see any way 

Scott. (Going r. to table r. c. and picking up 
Muller's police cap, which is lying there) I've 
got an idea. Leave it to me. (^Douglas and Sam 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 105 

7noz'e over r. tozvard him. Hyde re-enters L. c, 
followed by Norrts, wJw stands r. of him) 

Hyde. Now we'll see what this police ofificer has 
to say. Why, Ridgeley, this fellow actually had the 
nerve to say he was going- to marry her himself. 
(From time to time police whistles are heard out- 
side, always coming nearer) 

Norrts. Oh, but Dan, this chap is only after her 
money — he's one of these fortune hunters. 

Hyde. Why, that's it ! You're right. He's read 
in the papers she's an heiress. But I'll knock that 
idea out of his head. (Comes dozvn l. and addresses 
Douglas j Young man, my niece isn't worth a 
penny. Her fortune went to smash yesterday in 
United States Coal. (General consternation. 
Norrts, who has zvorn a fatuous smile, loses it, and 
looks alarmed and chagrined. Douglas alone shows 
no annoyance) 

Sam. (With an angry gesture) Blame it all, 
there ain't no justice anywhere. 

Douglas. Well, I'm glad of it. Now at least 
you can't say I want to marry her for her money. 

Hyde. (In great surprise) Hey? Say that 
again. 

Douglas. (Impatiently) Hang the money. All 
I want is Sylvia. (^Hyde shows great surprise) 

Norrts. (Coming down to r. of Hydej Dan I 
(Plucks him by coat-sleeves, leads him over l., and 
speaks in zchisper) Dan, you didn't mean that — • 
about the money? You just said that for him, 
didn't you? 

Hyde. (Looking him slowly up and down, sus- 
picion beginning to dawn on his face) I meant 
exactly what I said. Her fortune's gone. 

Norrts (Mopping his brow zvith handkerchief) 
My God ! (Police zvhistles are heard loudly blow- 
ing outside zvindow up L.j 



io6 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

MuL-LER. (Off L. c.) It was someone in the 
house that called. 

Scott. It'sMuller! Midler! Thank heaven for 
that! 

Hyde. (Triumphantly) Here's the police ! Now 
we'll see. (^Muller enters l. c, follozved by Rod- 
ney, who stands l. of door l. c.) 

MuLLER. If I could only have got that burglar 
— or his pal. 

Hyde. (Crossing Norris r. and stepping up to 
MullerJ Officer 

MuLLER. Who's this? 

Scott. (Rushes l. to Muller and Hyde, and, 
as he talks, unseen by Muller and Hyde, but in 
full viezv of audience, slips Muller's cap, which 
he has been carrying, rolled up in his hand, into 
capacious outside pocket of Hyde's coat) Ah ! 
That's it! Who is he? We don't know. No one 
knows. We called you in to find out. No 
one saw him come in. He suddenly appeared. 
He must have been hiding somewhere in the 
house. 

Muller. (Seizing Hyde j I'll bet he's Billy 
Hinkle's swell-dressed pal. 

Scott, ^r. of MullerJ Search him, Sergeant, 
search him. 

Hyde. Officer, this is an outrage f Mul- 
ler, searching Hyde, pulls his own cap out of 
Hyde's pocket) 

Muller. Aha! Where did you get that cap? 

Hyde. Why, really, I don't know. I never saw 
it before. I 

Muller. Well, / know where you got it. You 
got it from me. You're pinched. 

Hyde. Release me instantly. It's a mistake. 

Sam. Look in his inside pocket. Sergeant, f Mul- 
ler reaches into Hyde's inside pocket) A wallet 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY lo; 

of mine containing ten thousand dollars in bills 
has disappeared, and he may have it. 

MuLLER. (Pulling out Hyde's zvallet and open- 
ing it) Gee! I never seen so much money. (To 
Hyde, dragging him tozvard door l. c.) You come 
with me. 

Hyde. Ridgeley, identify me to this blockhead. 

NoRRis. My good man, this is Mr. Hyde of 
Harrisburg. 

MuLLER. (Chuckling) Hyde, is it? Well, my 
name's Seek. 

NoRRis. This is certainly Daniel Hyde. / can 
vouch for him. 

MuLLER. Who in hell are you? Shut up, or I'll 
run you in. 

NoRRis. (Edging upstage) Well, I'll be going. 
Sorry, Dan — about that fortune being gone. But so 
far as the marriage goes — -that lets me out. See 
you later. (Goes out l. c, making detour to avoid 
Rodney j 

Hyde. (Calling after him) Not if I see you 
first. Her fortune's all right. I only said that to 
catch this young chap — and, by Jove, I caught you. 

MuLLER. (Dragging Hyde tozvard door l. c.) 
Come on, now. We've had enough out of you. 

Douglas. (Crossing l. to l. of Hyde and turn- 
ing R. j Wait a moment, Muller. We've all made a 
mistake. I see now that this is Mr. Hyde after all 
and not a burglar. If you're through with Norris, 
Mr. Hyde 

Hyde. I am. The wretched fortune hunter! 

Douglas. Then you can have Sylvia at once. 

Sam. I'll get her. (Goes upstage to stairs, up- 
stairs and out door at head) 

Hyde. (To Douglas J Young man, who are 
you? 

Scott. Mr. Hyde, allow me to introduce your 



io8 SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 

future nephew-in-law, Mr. Douglas Lea, son of 
Ambassador Lea. 

Hyde. What! Your father's not William G. 
Lea? (^Douglas nods) My dear boy, I'm de- 
lighted to see you. 

MuLLER. What ! You ain't Sylvia Deane's 
uncle ? 

Hyde. That's who I am. (Takes out card from 
card-case) Here's my card. (Hands it to Mul- 
lerJ Give me back my money. ("Muller returns 
wallet to him) And if you annoy me further I'll 
make it hot for you. 

MuLLER. W^hy, Mr. Hyde, I got your niece for 
you. These boys kidnapped her. 

Hyde. Nonsense. They found her. Get out. 

MuLLER. (Shaking his head) Of all the boobs, 
I get first mention. Come on, Rodney. And lead 
me by the hand. I might get lost. (Goes out L. c, 
followed by Rodney. Sylvia and Sam appear 
at door at head of stairs — Sylvia first, with her 
oivn coat and hat on, and maid's cap and apron 
gone) 

Sam. Here she is — Mr. Hyde. 

Sylvia. (Running down stairs and l. to Hydej 
Uncle Dan, you see I was right about Mr. Norris. 
(^Sam comes down and stands at foot of stairs) 

Hyde. (Kissing her) You were. I've been an 
old fool. But from now on, I'm going to make 
you happy. (Hands her over to Douglas l. and 
walks forzvard) Who's treasurer? 

Sam. (Coining l. to him) I am. 

Hyde. (Handing him roll of bills) There's 
your reward. Come, Sylvia, f Sally appears at 
door at head of stairs, zvith her coat and hat on) 
I think, young lady, you had better come with us 
to the hotel. Come and see us to-morrow, boys. 
The Ritz. f Sally comes downstairs. Hyde goes 



SYLVIA RUNS AWAY 109 

out i..^ c. Sylvia and Douglas follow him, Doug- 
las with his arm round Sylviaj 

Sam. (Going uf> to door l. c. zvaving money) 
This time we'll sell out at 89. (Goes out l. cj 

Sally. (Goes l., then turns to Scott J Good- 
bye. (Holds out her hand) 

Scott. (Taking it) Sha'n't I see ycu again? 

Sally. Young gentlemen are allowed to call at 
Miss Worthington's School once a week, on Friday 
evenings. 

Sgott. I'll be there. 

Sylvia. (Off l. c.) Come, Sally. 

Sally. (Going to door l. c.) Good-bye. 

ScoTT. Good-bye. 

Sally. Good-bye. (Goes out l. c. Scott sits 
in chair l. of table R. c, facing audience. Sally 
reappears at door l. c., comes quietly down behind 
him, leans over and kisses him lightly. He rises, 
looks in pocket, takes out I. O. U. and hands it to 
her) 

ScoTT. Here's your I. O. U. f Sally takes it 
and goes up to door l. c.) 

Sally. Good-bye. 

ScoTT. Good-bye. 

Sally. Good-bye. (She goes to door l. c, and 
as she does so, the I. O. U. flutters out of her hand 
onto the floor. Scott stands a moment gazing at 
her, then goes and picks up the I. O. U. She goes 
out L. c. A smile comes over his face and 

The curtain falls 



JUST PUBLISFIED 

Nothing But the Truth 

A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts 
By 

James Montgomery 
Cast of Characters 

Bob Bennett 

B. M, Ralston 

Clarence Van Dusen 

Bishop Doran 

Dick Donnelly i 

Gwen 

Mrs. Ralston 

Ethel 

Mable 

Sable 

Martha 

SCENES 

ACT 1. A Broker's Office 

ACT 2. Jr-arlor of a Country Home 

ACT 3. " " .... 

TIME: The Present 

"Nothing But the Truth" is built upon the simple idea 
of its hero speaking- nothing but the absolute truth for a 
stated period. He bets a friend ten thousand dollars 
that he can do it, and boldly tackles truth to win the 
money. For a very short time the task is placidly easy, 
but Truth routs out old man Trouble and then things be- 
gin to happen. Trouble doesn't seem very large and 
aggressive when he first pokes his nose into the noble 
resolve of our hero, out he grows rapidly and soon we 
see our dealer in truth disrupting the domestic relations 
of his partner. In fact, Trouble works overtime, and 
reputations that have been unblemished are smirched. 
Situations that are absurd and complications almost 
knotted, pile up, all credited to Truth, and the result of 
the wager to foster and cherish that great virtue from 
the lips of the man who has espoused the cause of truth 
to win a wager. 

It is a novel idea and so well has it been worked out 
that an audience is kept in throes of laughter at the 
seemingly impossible task to untangle snarls into which 
our hero has involved all those he comes into contact 
with. It is a clean bright farce of well drawn characters 
and was built for laughing purposes only. 

William Collier play-d "Nothing But the Truth" for a 
year at the Longacre Theatre, New York, and it has been 
on tour for over two seasons. 

After three years continuous success on the profess- 
ional stage we "are now offering "Nothing But the Truth" 
for amateur production. It is one of the funniest and 
brightest farces ever written, and it is admirably suited 
to amateur production. 

Price 6o Cents 



IBMr^l 



